The Great Hip-Hop Merch Search

Making money from rap music has never been more difficult. If you're a rapper whose last name isn't a compass direction and you regularly browse this website for tips on which brand carries the best $300 jogging pants, it stands to reason that you're also a very successful street pharmacist, because rappers aren't getting money like that anymore. We live in a time where the only way to profit off your rapping ability is to perform live shows as often as possible, while creating a brand that's seen desirable to impressionable youth, forcing them to come out and attend said shows whenever you come to town. Selling your brand's accompanying merchandise has always been a necessary staple of the live show, but the "designs" have never been very complicated or, well, fashionable. Most of the time they simply feature the artist's face or most recent album art screen printed onto a cheap cotton tee, available in black and/or white. But recently this trend appears to be changing as rap acts, especially new ones, understand their role as tastemaking icons and are leveraging their popularity by selling clothes during shows and online without a middleman.

But with great output and need for monetary gain comes great opportunity for ridicule. Not every rapper is a fashionista like A$AP Rocky, nor can they all bend the will of the youth to convince them that the niche things that they like are actually cool, ala Odd Future. Most camps seems to generally aim for the middle, creating clothing that's reflective of current trends while still reflecting that artist's essence—the same essence that people want to emulate. With this in mind, let's examine the online merchandise stores of 15 popular rap acts, picking our most and least favorite items from each collection.

Slava P is a writer living in Toronto. Follow him on Twitter here.

A$AP Mob

The A$AP Collection comes in only one shade, but it's the prettiest one. Transform your look from street hustler/pleb to bank-robbery-ready by purchasing choice pieces from this heavily typographically-reliant line.

Best

If you're slightly overweight, insist on still wearing a basketball jersey to hoop in and despise Brooklyn, this slimming black one-piece is the obvious choice for you.

Worst

This is actually just a normal bandanna but made for a cyclops.

Dipset

Want to dress like a diplomat who may turn hostile at any moment? With the limited Dipset fashion line, you're treated to a number of high-end socks and other nostalgia-propelled items.

Best

Because if there's one thing that the population of Minnesota loves more than football, it's Cam'ron.

Worst

When you open up the package you find that it simply contains a note handwritten on lined paper reading, "Haha, sucker."

Eminem

Some musicians start off wanting to become brands, while others are forced into it by their corporate overlords. With Marshall's collection, it's clear that those corporate overlords are non other than the ones who dictate what clothing gets to be displayed in the high-foot-traffic areas of Walmarts across North America.

Best

None of it, but this boom-box pin is the closest way for you to proclaim your loyalty, while still keeping your pride.

Worst

It was hard to choose just one, but the stubborn way they've decided to make the backwards "E" a piece of the camouflage gives this hoodie the prize, or lack thereof.

G.O.O.D. Music

After flaunting the cherub-printed clothing at stadiums stages all over the world and having the audacity to drape Big Sean's emaciated torso in it, G.O.O.D. Music has decided to finally make select items open to the public. All of the items only come in black because #minimalism and #printingcosts.

Best

This polyester coach's jacket will keep you dry and works well with layers, but make sure that it's always your outer-most layer so people can look at your cherub in awe, while snapping discreet Instagram pictures of you (so they can make fun of you later).

Worst

I went to the G.O.O.D. music merch table for a naked baby angel and all I got was this lousy font that made me vomit from dizziness.

Jay Z

The best commercial alive has been touring and putting out albums steadily since his 40th birthday, giving him a wizened perspective when it comes to both music and fashion. This clothing line is sure to be a hit at your next family get together when your bachelor uncle shows up wearing select items from this collection neatly matched to his Air Force 1's.

Best

All-over print is very wavy right now, but the fact that this shirt isn't overly aggressive with it means that you can wear it with anything! Also, it features the words "Magna Carter", so old people will think you're smart.

Worst

Jay Zeagle.

Lupe Fiasco

Lupe Fiasco is for the people. Whatever the people are currently enjoying is exactly the thing that Lupe is also interested in. With that said, it's interesting how his fashion collection has done a great job of blending his Japan-obsession of yesteryear with his present-day EDM DJ aspirations. It's all about striking the right balance between camouflage and Mandarin symbols for prosperity.

Best

This only wins by default, and if it turns out that the black square that the design is printed on can be seen that clearly on the black shirt, I'm returning this faster than you can create an acronym for lasers.

Worst

I laughed for 30 straight seconds after seeing this shit. Who would buy this? The only reason I could see someone purchasing this polo is if they wanted to pop their collar and make it look like they can shoot lightening bolts out of their mouth, which, to be fair, is a good reason, but it shouldn't be the only reason.

Macklemore

Interested in pulling off that hip "I'm not trying too hard, am I?" look while supporting civil rights? Macklemore's clothing line comes complete with interesting designs that are non-threatening and thrift-shop ready, just like him!

Best

The best part of any of Macklemore's merchandise is that he clearly credits all of the creators involved. But what I want to know is: Who's that steely-eyed model?

Worst

If you wear this, you can rest assured that the subsequent bullying won't come as a result of your sexual preferences, but, instead, your love of tie-dye.

MMG

Normally, the people who are associated with car dealerships have the worst fashion sense of anyone in the service industry. However, Rick Ross is trying to reverse that stereotype by offering a collection of items that represent himself and his team. Be careful when browsing through the catalog since you may find yourself enchanted by an item only to learn that part of the proceeds go towards furthering Stalley's career.

Best

This T-shirt is great for the simple fact that it insinuates that Rick Ross consumes that much cocaine for breakfast. Unless he's cutting it with aspartame and adding it to his breakfast slurpee, I don't believe it. Also, cutting your coke with a razor blade is so 2003. Grow the fuck up and get a points card you'll never use.

Worst

A snapback with Wale's logo embroidered in turquoise lettering AND a hashtag?! This is the true definition of what it means to be timeless.

Odd Future

This group fucked around and made kitty cats one of the biggest fashion trends on earth last year. Lately, they've been pulling away from the feline and into bigger and brighter designs. Say what you will about the music, but they've found an amazing way to be financially stable while creating raps in 2013. Being a non-rapping member of Odd Future is like living in an episode of How To Make It In America, but with Tyler constantly trying to capture a Vine of him farting on your face.

Best

Staying true to their roots, Odd Future has put a cat's goalie mask on the front of this hockey jersey. It's the kind of closet staple that you need to have when you decide to switch out of your old clothes because they've been stained from Dirt Clod Wars.

Worst

Even if this is for girls, it's insulting that they left off the best spectrum of the rainbow for no apparent reason.

OVO

This fashion house was originally built on the back of a basic owl design, but has now evolved to accommodate all walks of life. This way, the creator can continue to expand his creative circle without having to rely on the fickle charity of Birdman and Slim. The owl sweaters are still in full effect, but some of the newer items eschew the basics in an attempt to get creative.

Best

This longsleeve has everything you could want from a piece of merchandise. It's fashionable, nostalgic and black, meaning that you can wear it by itself for the next 6 months before turning it into a layering item once something else becomes the new black.

Worst

I think someone's code became corrupted when they dragged and dropped the photo.

TDE

Of all the musical entities on this list, TDE has done the most to push themselves and their brand beyond what people perceive them to be. Sure, they don't have the most visually appealing designs and, yes, they only really have one mainstream artist who, to be honest, isn't exactly known for being fashionable. But like the little engine that could, TDE has managed to trudge forwards and carve out a niche for themselves, steadily improving the clothing they make along the way.

Best

I'm a sucker for burgundy, but I also enjoy how they've managed to incorporate the foreskin hood into the design.

Worst

This looks like something the Illuminati wears when they go bowling.

Wiz Khalifa

Wiz has done an outstanding job of becoming a brand the second that his star passed from Internet famous to IRL famous. One second, he was the dude who you recognized from the mixtape cover you just downloaded. The next, his name and likeness were being sold all over Hot Topic, making him successful enough to think that a blond patch of hair would be a good look. I secretly think that this is all a part of Wiz's endgame. Face it, this dude named his entire movement on a shoe AND IT WORKED.

Best

This is the sort of item that you can wear publicly without shame until a zoned out mall rat gives you a subtle nod, while you're shopping for non-weed-themed clothing.

Worst

Ever wonder what Beetlejuice would wear if he was really into Polaroids of Wiz Khalifa? Wonder no more. This is all your fault, Imagination.

Wu-Tang Clan

You have to credit the longest standing fashion house on this list for avoiding that ride off into the sunset on a yellow and black pony. Blame it on ambition or hunger, or more likely on contractual fine print, but the result is a merch site that's surprisingly adept at recognizing popular trends, especially when you consider that the combined age of all its members is, like, 90,000 years old.

Best

Pay tribute because the only exception to the cliche of putting your album art on your merchandise is when that album is a masterpiece.

Worst

I hope someone buys this chain wallet just so they can get robbed by a 35 year old Wu Tang fan/FedEx driver in real life.

Kanye West's Yeezus

The most controversial hip-hop merch line in recent memory belongs to the man who constantly creates cool shit just for the sake of it being cool. Remember shutter shades? I bumped into countless lockers while I wore those fuckers, but they were still inexplicably cool. And while I haven't taken the plunge and splurged on leather jogging pants just yet, I'm sure it's only a matter of time until I bow to the peer pressure. The point is, everything that Kanye creates is cool just because he's got a solid enough track record to stand behind. Who cares if it's racist towards those who endured slavery or the native Americans who had their land taken from them? It looks cool!

Best

Native headdress adorned atop a skeletal frame? You say ignorant, I say Slayer chic.

Worst

The worst part of this tote bag is the fact that people out there still think it's okay to use tote bags.

Young Money

The best way to ensure that you'll always retain your core fans is to never change too drastically. People fear change. No matter how many times you try to explain that without change there would be no butterflies, some people will be perfectly fine with living in a world full of caterpillars. This is the mantra that goes into every design at YMCMB clothing headquarters, where they've been printing the same five block letters onto shirts, sweaters, beanies and phone cases for the last four years. Recently, they've chosen to swap the solid colored lettering and replace it with patterns, a move that has had varying effects.

Best

The pixelated pattern makes it so that when you step back and cross your eyes, you see the "YMCMB" letters, but fuzzy.

Worst

Save the white spots for the Trukfit shorts, Weezy.