Image via Complex Original
Some of the best athletes in the entire world are on display, pouring their heart and soul on the floor to prove that they are indeed the most dominant team in the National Basketball Association. But that shit doesn’t matter because we are a fickle, materialistic audience who only cares which players swag out the most, right?
NBA style has evolved so much over the years, often becoming a main focus of the game. The pre- and post-game outfits are constantly documented, leaving us to judge our favorite players’ (and their stylists’) wardrobe choices on any given night, from Game 1 of the season to (if they’re lucky enough) Game 7 of the NBA Finals. While the Golden State Warriors continue to beat the breaks off of the Cleveland Cavaliers with a 2-0 lead in the 2016 NBA Finals, we can’t help but wonder what the outcome may be if the winning team were chosen by their starting five’s respective style.
Kyrie Irving vs. Steph Curry
Position: Point Guard
Kyrie Irving is constantly out here dressed like your kid brother you let hang around you cuz everyone thinks he's kinda fly. The Cavs' starting PG is not the new kid on the block anymore, but he loves dressing like the kid who moved to a small town from L.A. and taught his classmates the new dance craze or some shit. Unfortunately, that just isn’t enough.
Steph Curry may be a back-to-back NBA MVP, but he is also quite possibly the NBA’s Most Improved Style player. Even though sometimes he looks as though he’s got a whole cow on, his size definitely works to his advantage because he can get the right fit from just about any label. Is there anything this dude can’t do? Damn.
Winner: Steph Curry by the pre-pubescent hair on his chin.
J.R. Smith vs. Klay Thompson
Position: Shooting Guard
J.R. Smith is the definition of "get you a man who can do both." Sometimes he looks like your cousin Day Day who doesn’t have a job, yet is still somehow flashing racks on Instagram. And sometimes he looks like Prince Akeem from Coming to America.
Smith matches up very well against Klay Thompson, because—there's no way around it—he is a basic, from his polo shirt and straight fit denim, to his shoe deal with a brand you've never heard of. There’s nothing wrong with that, it just isn’t going to get you any NBA Style Finals accolades, is all. Guess that’s what happens when your parents run your bank account.
Winner: J.R. Smith by a landslide of D’USSE.
LeBron James vs. Harrison Barnes
Position: Small Forward
LeBron James has kind of been the ringleader for the new wave of traditional NBA style for a few years now. He’s out here looking like a cool father figure, and there aren’t many his size who can cover the spectrum better, from ultra-casual to formal. NBA Style MVP?
There is still a sizable amount of dudes who refuse to show up to a game unless they're in a full-on suit. It's the way of the old-heads, and Harrison Barnes is a new old-head. His suits generally fit correctly, which is respectable for his size. He’s not going to go all crazy with it, though he may give you a “shnazzy” color. That’s what the youth say these days, right? But, unfortunately, when you go up against Lebron 1-on-1, you generally get beat.
Winner: LeBron James
Kevin Love vs. Draymond Green
Position: Power Forward
While not completely swagless, Kevin Love definitely is the most lacking of the Cleveland bunch when it comes to style. He generally keeps it pretty safe, but sometimes you can tell he woke up and said, "Today is the day I'm going to make LeBron's team style Instagram pic."
On the flip side, if Draymond Green were on the Cavs, he’d likely be included in all of Bron Bron's Grams. He might be considered one of the dirtiest players in the league right now, but it’s hard to deny that the dude can clean up when he wants to. He may not be your typical fashion bro size, but you can tell he doesn’t try to go outside of what's right for him.
Winner: Draymond Green with a swift kick to Kevin Love’s style’s nuts.
Tristan Thompson vs. Andrew Bogut
Position: Center
Tristan Thompson is obviously the most advanced it comes to style. His label choices are impeccable, and, for 6'9", his clothes generally fit perfectly. He may be one of the main dudes who introduced the luxury streetwear look so effortlessly.
It may not have mattered who Andrew Bogust was going up against; his stye is just...I don't even know, man.
Winner: Tristan Thompson due to a Bogut forfeit.
Winner: Cleveland Cavaliers
Steph and Draymond did their damndest to keep their teams alive, but the Cavs' entire starting five, on top of the swaglessness from Klay and Bogut, were entirely too strong to overcome.
But, maybe the Cavs off-court fashion concentration is one of the reasons the Warriors are whooping their asses? LeBron needs to have a fatherly talk with the team to get their head off them clothes and into the damn game.