What Your Favorite Beer Says About Your Personal Style

You've been drinking the same green bottles since the '90s, and been wearing your Timbs and bucket hats from that era, too. You know what you like, and love looking tough in your workwear that's been reappropriated for the streets. This is true even you've never scrapped and only dream of stomping someone out and yelling "Queensbridge!" The same can be said about the global jet-setting image Heineken sells, and the fact that you've never left the five boroughs.

Fast-fashion is your drug of choice, but when you need a break from all the $30 blazers you can stuff in a shopping bag, you drink Pabst Blue Ribbon. It's like having a quality beer, but not really. Just like your faux leather-sleeved M-65. You don't even like the taste of beer, but you're willing to choke down a peeber for the sake of looking cool, and the same is true of your cheap investments in shoddy garments.

Fruit and beer is the combination you've been waiting to hear your entire life. You're dripped in everything with prints, and if something comes in a floral, you have to have it. You get extremely wasted off of mad Magic Hat Number 9s, but you're kind of chill on the inside. The same thing happens when you order your beer as when you show up covered in head-to-toe floral and fauna: You think you're the coolest dude there, but everyone is laughing at you behind your back.

There's nothing in life you want more than to be Italian. Since your first thumb through of Fuck Yeah Menswear, you've been hooked on everything Continental, and you swore if you drank enough Peroni, you'd be able to tie your tie all sorts of weird and no one would laugh. You wear a double-breasted blazer everyday, and are a full-fledged subscriber to "sprezzatura." When you go home to visit your folks in Buffalo, everyone gives you weird stares, and your go-to beer is nowhere on the menu. If only you could click your double monks and take yourself back to Milan, er, Williamsburg.

Being an OG is the most important thing in your life, and you make sure you flaunt your OGness 24/7. You still drink Olde English and wear Stussy—both of which you've been doing since the '80s. Sure, you've contemplated change, but when you're this cool, it's easy to say "fuck it," and stick to what you know. Plus, you've never had to break the bank and younger kids bow when they see you in the liquor store or on Fairfax. You scoff at the bros who play "Edward Forty Hands."

You're the chill dude who lives somewhere out in the mountains, but you're definitely not some backwoods, moonshining hick. Sure, you hunt, fish, vibe out in the woods, and dress the part, but you also hit up underground hip-hop shows where you throw back more than a few Sierra Nevadas. You don't wear L.L. Bean, but prefer hipper brands like Jungmaven and Topo Designs. You even heard about White Mountaineering, and were totally for it, until you saw the sticker price. You like things that aren't too hard to find, but never sacrifice your mountain man chic for the sake of rocking prestigious labels.

You drink Stella Artois because, although it's European and imported, it's as simple as can be—it's not too fancy, but it's definitely not Budweiser. You get the same looks when you wear Norse Projects head-to-toe every day. Sure, you're just wearing windbreakers, New Balance sneakers, chinos, and fleece jackets, but are you, really? it's so much different than that, and you can spot the difference from a mile away. Some people call you plain, but you know that you possess an attention to detail they could never recognize. And that's all that matters.

Every day is a sunny day at the beach when you've got a Corona in hand. You refuse to wear anything besides the waviest of surf gear, and why should you? Life's just one big vacay, brah. Your manner of dress is how you daily reminisce of the time you popped molly and puked along the shores of Puerto Vallarta. You probably live in Minnesota, but you swear you're Spicoli, brah, as you stick to a wardrobe of aloha shirts, short shorts, and slip-on Vans. You also say "brah" a lot.

You like your beer black, just like your wardrobe. This is why you drink Guinness religiously. People always tell you, "Why do you drink that, it's so heavy." But deep down, you know it's pretty smooth, just like your leather jogging pants and extra long black tee that everyone has been jocking on the low. You wish it was winter year-round so you didn't have to deal the discomfort that wearing black gives you in the heat, or feeling gross from drinking a milky stout when it's 90 degrees outside.

If it doesn't involve hockey or beer, you don't fuck with it. You crack open your Labatt Blue and wear your hockey sweater—that's covered in beer stains—every weekend. Your girlfriend threatens to throw away your jersey, but no one can stop you from drinking your 'batt with the guys. When the hockey jersey trend came back in style, you were the coolest, drunkest dude on the scene. Even though no one could decipher your impaired Canadian accent.

You prefer things that are an acquired taste and aren't that comfortable at first, just like the bitter hops of your trusty Smuttynose IPA and the 24-ounce wool Filson jacket you've been trying to break in since 2011. You like spending more on things that are going to last, and you've never made an impulse decision in your life. No one gets why you dress like you do, and your girlfriend will never try a sip of anything you drink. You stroke your patchy struggle beard that's taken you eight months to grow, and wonder why no one appreciates things the way they used to be.

The frat bro life goes hand-in-hand with your love for Natty Ice, and you're always dressed to fist pump your way through some Tiesto vibes in your tank top. Sleeves are for pussies and don't show off the guns. You like to get straight to the point, just like your shitty beer of choice. There's a great chance you made your own jorts which once got soaked in a butt-chugging incident gone wrong.

You drink Budweiser because it's your generic go-to, just like your jeans and T-shirt-heavy wardrobe. You're not into taking huge risks, but you feel like you got things right the first time around. You've been wearing the same thing since you were 14, the first time you lucked into some leftover beers from your older brother. Since that day, you haven't looked back, and have kept the ideal basic-centric wardrobe to coast through life.

You grew up somewhere in the Northeast, you like quality things, but you're way too busy pursuing your doctorate and weekending to search out anything obscure. This is why you shop at J.Crew and drink Samuel Adams. There's no shame in that. You get your slim-fit oxford shirts and get to drink a decently hoppy beer. Your style changes with the seasons. You drink Sam Summer and wear seersucker pants when it's warm, and throw on a shawl sweater and drink Octoberfest every fall. You're predictable, but are comfortable in your mediocrity and routines.