The 11 Best "Bargains" at the MR PORTER Sale

I'm not entirely sure what a "sale" is, but my underlings have informed me it involves something called a "discount," which apparently is when items somehow cost less than their retail value. While this concept of paying less for things is foreign to high-rollers like myself, I would assume this sort of information could behoove you, peasants of the Internet.

Currently many of the wares on MR PORTER, the preferred e-commerce platform of men-who-meal (you know, the masculine equivalent of ladies-who-lunch), are marked up to half off. Of course, half off a thousand more more dollars is still rent money in a magical, mystical place somewhere outside of New York. I have gone ahead and perused some of the fineries on offer on your behalf, but make haste, for it appears that some of these products are selling out rather quickly. Now if you'll excuse me, I must actually meet Mr. Porter himself for afternoon tea and cucumber sandwiches, the official non-nutritive hors d'oeuvre of the aristocracy.