Cargo shorts aren't just terrible looking, they can also be the source of marital spats, The Wall Street Journal discovered. In an article—titled "Nice Cargo Shorts! You’re Sleeping on the Sofa"—couples recount how cargo shorts have driven a wedge between them.
One man reported that "15 pairs of cargo shorts have slowly disappeared from his closet," The Wall Street Journal's Nicole Hong wrote. "On the occasions when he has confronted his wife about the missing shorts, she will either admit to throwing them away or deflect confrontation by saying things like, “Honey, you just need a little help.” Now, the man, Dane Hansen, said he keeps his cargo shorts hidden like they are contraband.
Another wife, Jen Anderson, said she can deal with her husband's swaglessness only to a point. Cargo shorts crossed the line, though, and Anderson made her husband return his cargo shorts because she didn't want to appear in public with him. "It’s a reflection on me, like 'How did she let him out the door like that?'" she told WSJ.
An actor in California who loves cargo shorts told WSJ he's lucky to work from home so that he can get some quality cargo short time when his wife isn't around. "Every time I put them on, I am conscious of the fact that I am now being disobedient in my marriage," said Tom Lommel, a 46-year-old actor.
Joseph Hancock, who is a design and merchandising professor at Drexel University’s designer merchandising program and wrote his Ph.D. thesis about cargo pants, said the reason cargo shorts remain popular among older men is because the style was popular when they were younger. "Those teenagers are now married, and they don’t get rid of their clothes," he said. "They don’t evolve."
That is coming straight from a man who wrote his PhD thesis on cargo pants. What a time to be alive, truly.