If traditional selfie sticks didn't quite float your boat, DO NOT FUCKING WORRY BECAUSE NOW THERE ARE BUTT SELFIE STICKS. I would link to the recent New York Times piece about selfie sticks, but I don't want to reinforce that type of behavior. I will however link to the Belfie Stick website. Jen Selter and her 5 million Instagram followers are basically Helen of Troy with this shit, except Jen Selter's face couldn't launch a thousand ships around the world. SICK BURN.

Anyway, there are people out there trying to take pictures of their own ass and sometimes a mirror pic will simply not do that mound of meaty flesh justice, which is where the $80 Belfie Stick comes in. I understand that this is a thing that occurs in real life, but I am 100% suspect of this website. It's "from the creators of On.com" which is something I've never heard of before. What in the fuck is On.com? Not to mention, the "models" are not actually using the thing, it's just photoshopped into their hands and none of the photos in the gallery are of people using the Belfie Stick either. The Instagram is eeriely inactive and the Twitter account has only nine followers. Plus, they are mysteriously "out of stock" and only accepting pre-orders.

I smell a jig, fam. And that jig is sky high. Even if the Belfie Stick happens to exists, the jig is fucking up.