To pull a page out of the old Jon Moy handbook, which I was handed on my first day here at Four Pins, check out the very rare hemlines on this CDG shirt. As if the rarity of those hemlines were not enough to tickle your fancy, they are caused by the inclusion of diagonal side zips. Damn, this garment is a perfect blend of Moy and me. I might write up a feel-good buddy comedy by that name. Moy & Me, hmm, I like that sound of that. That's pretty fucking catchy. You hear me, Paramount? I have the rights to this one. No swooping in with an exorbitant offer so you can just cast Michael Cera in my part and Jake Gyllenhaal as Moy. Those two could never be friends on screen. What terrible fucking casting choices. I don't want to hear any offers unless it's more than, like, $5,000. Then I might make an exception. In my version, Moy and I just sit around next to each other and blog about clothes, while we wear sweatpants and loose, stretched out wool sweaters. Who wouldn't want to watch that? Only the dog makes it to the end of the movie this time. I don't want to string you guys along only to leave you in tears as you exit the theater. That's no good. That's what Paramount would do though.
Originally published on Four Pins