Have you ever invaded a papi elephant's personal space with a Volkswagen Golf for the Vine? Life hack: Don't. But yeah, elephants. I fuck with elephants because they have tusks and tusks are how the color ivory was discovered. And, tbh, all the furniture in my house would be made from ivory if I didn't fuck with elephants so much. Wait, is the color named after the tusks, or the tusks after the color? Feel free to leave the answer in the comments section so long as you know in advance that I don't fucking care, you drip.

Where do I start with this ivory Junya cotton canvas shirt jacket thing though? The curved hems? The placket patch between the lower two buttons? Maybe the trademark Junya storm tab? I don't know, man. It's just so beautiful. Pair this with some decent black jeans and those Nike x Pigalle hi-top Forces you're too scared to wear in front of other humans. I dunno, maybe you'll find a girl who can look past your disgusting physical features and lack of personality enough to touch your pale, desolate nether regions. Probably not though lol.

Moksha August is a serial Four Pins commenter turned writer. I guess you could say that he started from the bottom. Haha, that's the spot. You can follow him on Twitter here.