Fuck all that Best Buy tech nonsense today, on this, the 9th annual Cyber Monday! (*Stanley Tucci Hunger Games voice*) Dawgs, why are you buying an 80 inch 4K TV when you can't even afford a Netflix account? What you could really always use more of is socks. Lots of socks. I'd say in my lifetime I've lost probably 20,000 different socks. How the hell am I supposed to keep track of them shits? Like most sane people here on planet #FirstWorldProblems, I take off my socks when I climb into bed and ferociously hurl them across the room, so, yeah, they're practically designed to be lost into the ether of my apartment and/or laundromat (Oh, you have a washer and dryer in your building? In your apartment even? Fuck you). But today, I will be cyber-stopping over at Uniqlo for these $1 socks (that come in a variety of solid and marled options all at the admittedly douchey "half-calf" height), and I will probably purchase upwards of 20 pairs. That way I can ensure I'll have socks for just under a month, or as I like to call it, a new world record.
