If you’ve accepted Crisp Kringle as your personal lord and savior then a posthumous lifestyle marked by bombers, brunch and Jordans that take a toothbrush to themselves awaits you in #Menswear Heaven. I know this because one time in Sid Mashburn a Japanese tailor accidentally stuck me in the femoral artery and, when I came-to hours later, I’d cheated death and bore witness to the splendor that is #Menswear Heaven. Yes, I’m crazy. Now pay me the same respect you’d pay Robin Leach while he walked you through Left Eye’s pool house.

Rick Morrison is a writer living in North Carolina. Follow him on Twitter here.