What’s that? You’re rocking a silk scarf this winter? Well, how about you check out my Alpaca collar scarf, bro. Is it a scarf or is it a collar? All I know is that it’s going to be mine. This thing is so ridiculous and funny I’m bound to finally beat out that fat ironic guy who always one ups me with his “I’m kind of a big deal” tee that girls think are so hilarious. Newsflash, that dude sweats when he’s peeling a fucking orange and smells like a day old pastrami sandwich. I’m going to straight up walk into a party wearing nothing, but my collar scarf. Catch me ripping off my trench and helicoptering my shit all over the place like I’m on of those dudes from the Meatspin website that my boss refuses to let me link you to.