The Sweet 16: The Complex College Football Power Rankings, Week 5

We know what you're thinking: "Complex College Football Power Rankings! Where have you been all my life?" Well, not that the first month of the college season hasn't been fun, but there's only so much of SEC schools dragging Oregon FCS schools up and down the field we can take. But we're here now, and every week until December, so let's go.

First a few ground rules:

1. Don't get your fucking feelings hurt. No, this poll does not make up a part of the BCS Championship formula; yes, we're gonna call out your precious little traditional pigskin powerhouse alma mater if they have an off week but still win. Relax, if they're really as good as the experts say they are, it'll all work itself out in the end.

2. See No. 1.

3. A special rule for Week 1 of our Power Rankings: It's all undefeateds. The last time a team with a loss won the BCS, George Bush was still president, your home was worth a little more than it is now, you had a job, and...OK, so it actually wasn't all that long ago (2008-09 to be exact). But a) we all know Utah should've won the chip that year, and b) you really oughta be undefeated on October 2. So Arkansas, you ain't on the list, you either Oregon, and Texas A&M, you sure as shit ain't on the list (good luck in the SEC next year by the way). And, like we said in Rule No. 1, this shit will get sorted out (got a feeling we'll be woo pig sooieing in this list soon enough). Let the fun begin.

Record: 4 - 0
This Week's Game: W vs. Illinois State, 20-10
Up Next: @ Southern Illinois

Go Bison! Wait, say what? North Dakota State's in the Sweet 16, but Arkansas and Oregon aren't? Hey, we told you we were only featuring undefeateds this week. What, you would've preferred Sam Houston State? A few things you might not know about NDSU:

1. They rank first in the NCAA in scoring defense (they're fifth in yards allowed), and they're outscoring their opponents by a 3-1 margin.

2. Last week they beat Minnesota on the road, and they've already surpassed their win total from last year.

3. They're an FCS school, and they don't even qualify to win that shiny BCS trophy, so this is their first and last appearance on just about any power rankings list.

Record: 5 - 0
This Week's Game: W @ UTEP, 49-42
Up Next: vs. East Carolina

Go Cougars! You could actually make a halfway plausible argument for including Houston on the Power Rankings irrespective of their undefeated status...if you were really drunk and possibly on LSD. Still, Houston actually plays in the FBS, has beaten UCLA this season, and puts up 700 yard games on the reg. Of course they play in Conference USA, nearly lost to Louisiana Tech, and give up an average of 400 yards a game. So yeah, enjoy the 15 minutes, Cougars.

Record: 5 - 0
This Week's Game: W @ Kansas, 45-34
Up Next: vs. Texas A&M

Finally we get to the big boys. These aren't the Mike Leach Red Raiders of old, but they still score in bunches (47 per game) and they've got a great college quarterback (junior Seth Doege, who's sporting a 169.4 passer rating at the moment). They haven't played anybody of note yet, and nearly lost to Nevada last week. But if they beat A&M Saturday they'll be on the national radar; if they beat Kansas State and Oklahoma in the two weeks following that they'll be in the top 10 (but don't bet the ranch on it).

Record: 5 - 0
This Week's Game: W vs. Northwestern, 38-35
Up Next: @ Indiana

It's a down year for the Big Ten (more on that later), but undefeated is undefeated. They needed a furious rally to beat lowly Northwestern Saturday, and their defense looked pretty bad in the process (although they did execute a nice knee to the nuts combo). Still, with the exception of a home date with Ohio State next week, they'll likely be favored in every game they'll play until November (when they host Michigan and Wisconsin in consecutive weeks).

Record: 5 - 0
This Week's Game: W @ N.C. State, 45-35
Up Next: vs. Maryland

If this were a list of the most entertaining teams, the Rambling Wreck would be top 5. Their triple-option offense goes HAM on a weekly basis, averaging nearly 400 yards a game on the ground (including a stupefying 604 yards on the ground against Kansas two weeks ago), and they've actually got a passing attack this year, too. Of course they play in the ACC with the wrong ball, so take it with a grain of salt. They've got to travel to Miami to play the Hurricanes in two weeks, but they should be undefeated when they face Clemson for ACC supremacy at the end of the month (again, ACC supremacy in the wrong sport).

Record: 4 - 0
This Week's Game: W vs. Nevada, 30-10
Up Next: @ Fresno State

It happens every year (or at least this year and last): Boise State scores an impressive early season win on the road against a BCS Conference opponent, then has to slog through their Mountain West schedule watching their ranking slowly slide as other teams score more impressive wins. It's got to ge a grind: knowing that you're supposed to win convincingly every week, against clearly inferior opponents, in games that are national afterthoughts unless you lose. It takes a different kind of mental toughness, and it's almost as hard as, you know, playing an actual SEC or Big 12 schedule. Almost. Run the table and talk to us in December.

Record: 5 - 0
This Week's Game: W vs. Minnesota 58-0
Up Next: @ Northwestern

Minnesota is terrible, Big Blue hasn't really beaten anybody of note besides Notre Dame (and needed an insane 4th quarter to do that), and started 5-0 last year, too, before falling off the face of the football planet. So what's different this year? A new coach and an improved defense perhaps, but not much else. Still, Denard Robinson is incredible, it's a down year for the Big Ten, and the Wolverines don't play Wisconsin this year. They probably shouldn't be making January reservations for Pasadena (much less New Orleans) just yet though.

Record: 5 - 0
This Week's Game: W vs. Baylor, 36-35
Up Next: vs. Missouri

Just win, baby. Bill Snyder's about as far as you can get from Al Davis, but the old motto applies here. The Wildcats traveled to Miami a week ago and beat a Hurricanes team coming off an impressive W over Ohio State, and this week they eked out a victory over a top 20 Baylor squad. Here's one guarantee with a qualification, and one guarantee without: Kansas State won't survive it's murderous late October-November schedule (Oklahoma, Oklahoma State, Texas A&M, Texas) undefeated unless quarterback Collin Klein makes a Heisman run (not very likely); if they do, you'll have a new No. 1 team in the country.

Record: 4 - 0
This Week's Game: W vs. UCLA, 45-19
Up Next: vs. Colorado

The West Coast is a beautiful place. Is that the reason all the college football teams that play there suck? Shots! So maybe that's not entirely fair, but until Pac-12 teams start performing better against quality non-conference competition, we're going to think of the conference as second tier. Just the truth, Ruth.

Record: 4 - 0
This Week's Game: W @ Iowa State, 37-14
Up Next: vs. Oklahoma

Quarterback rotations don't typically work out so hot, especially when they feature a sophomore and a true freshman, but Case McCoy and David Ash did just fine yesterday, orchestrating a very solid road win against a good Iowa State team. As we like to say, things will get sorted out in the end—probably to the tune of 28-3 Sooners next week in the Red River Rivalry.

Record: 4 - 0
This Week's Game: Idle
Up Next: vs. Kansas

Maybe their win in College Station looks a little less impressive now that Arkansas has taken down the Aggies, too, but the Cowboys are still in the top 10 in both total offense and total defense, and feature a ridiculous dancing coach. Five Big 12 teams on our initial Power Rankings—somebody tell us why schools are so eager to leave this awesome football league?

Record: 4 - 0
This Week's Game: W 62-6 vs. Ball State
Up Next: @ Texas

Let us play devil's advocate for a moment. The Sooners win at Florida State looks a little less impressive after the 'Noles lost to Clemson last week, Oklahoma has started sluggishly the last two weeks, and we're pretty sure our little sister's Pop Warner team could beat Ball State if they had three interceptions in a six-minute span. We're completely sure our sister's team doesn't have Landry Jones passing for 425 yards and 5 touchdowns, though, so Texas might want to try gameplanning for him instead.

Record: 5 - 0
This Week's Game: W vs. Kentucky 35-7
Up Next: vs. Florida

Things just keep coming up Tigers this year. Their preseason starting quarterback Jordan Jefferson played his first game of the year after having the charges against him from a bar fight reduced from a felony to a misdemeanor (convenient, huh?), and he promptly scored a touchdown. The defense still swarms, led by legit defensive Heisman candidate Tyrann Mathieu, and Les Miles hasn't had the opportunity to show-off his batshit late game clock management skills just yet. There's a a sizable element of the blogerati that thinks the second best team in the loaded SEC West (i.e. either 'Bama or LSU) is the second best team in the country. We've got the Tigers a little low this week because of some other teams' great performances, but we wouldn't necessarily argue with that assessment.

Record: 5 - 0
This Week's Game: W vs. Nebraska, 48-17
Up Next: vs. Indiana (10/15)

We'll just come on out and say that the Big Ten is looking pretty shitty this year, and the addition of Nebraska might actually be watering down the product. That said, Wisconsin is for real. Russell Wilson is really good, and it's conceivable that he and Nick Toon could be playing pitch and catch together on Sundays someday. Also, Russell Wilson is really good, and, did we mention that Russell Wilson is really good? #Heismanwatch

Record: 5 - 0
This Week's Game: W @ Virginia Tech, 23-3
Up Next: vs. Boston College

Is Clemson gonna be No. 2 at the end of the year? Don't go bet Howard's Rock on it, but we will tell you this: They are easily the hottest team in the country right now after beating the defending champs (Auburn), a preseason top 10 (Florida State), and the ACC's toughest home team (Virginia Tech) in consecutive weeks. They've got a couple trap games coming up this month (at Maryland in two weeks and at home to North Carolina in three) before they play currently undefeated Georgia Tech the weekend before Halloween. And if they get through that? Smooth sailing until a regular season finale against South Carolina. Now, did we just jinx the Tigers? Prolly.

Record: 5 - 0
This Week's Game: W @ Florida, 38-10
Up Next: vs. Vanderbilt

Do we think Florida is really all that good? Maybe not, but they do have Charlie Weis calling the plays, and they were rushing for more than 250 yards a game coming into this match-up. 'Bama held them to 15 yards on the ground at the Swamp, knocking out the Gators quarterback in the process. Of course there's a chicken-or-egg element (chicken-or-broken-leg?) to Florida's John Brantley being carted off the field, because UF did have some success against the Tide when he was upright. Still, 'Bama went on the road and got it done; it's hard to see them falling out of the top 5 before they play LSU at home on November 5.