Image via Complex Original
With the NBA All-Star Weekend kicking off, we decided to pay tribute to the annual event where groupies and fans congregate to beg athletes and celebrities for acknowledgment in a joint race to the bottom. This weekend, everyone's out to land their own Paul George. And it doesn't hurt to get a head start. With the advent and popularization of social media, you're seeing more and more people reach out in desperation for any type of back-and-forth and every once in a while the thirst has to be documented.
Some people use Twitter to give one-liners away for free. Some use it to give updates on everyday life, restaurants they ate at, or take pics of food with unnecessary hashtags. Then there's those who use it to check their pride at the door and publicly grovel at the virtual feet of celebrities and athletes worldwide. The first two are a little odd but the third is pitiable. After all, aren't most users being followed by coworkers, friends and family? "Hey look there's someone I fell out of touch after high school sending Skylar Diggins creepy direct tweets. Damn, what the hell happened to his life?" Few people will understand why their timeline has a tweet that says "wank me," @ Diddy. We get it, but your followers probably won't.
At least people on Twitter behave themselves far better than those on Instagram, when it comes to celebrity supplicants. Calls for follow backs, stabs at love and blatant innuendos all qualify. Here’s The Thirstiest NBA All-Star Weekend Comments.
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Without that winking face we'd have had no idea what he meant.
Honestly, we could have done an entire list on Skylar Diggins, who's participating in the Shooting Stars contest with Kevin Durant and Dad of the Year.
Two cryptic tweets and a Valentine's beg.
He might as well have written that in hieroglyphics.
Coming in all caps.
That's subtle. By the way, when did Rihanna become her own sovereign country?
Drinking fountain needed.
Annnndddd unfollow.
We're sure she's flattered.
No sarcasm.
Not sure who's worse...
...the Twitterer who just asks for sex or, the one who tries to sweet talk.
This is why you shouldn't be nice to people.
A celebrity takes a cancer survivor to Prom and now everyone's asking.
Practically there.
You make it sound pretty simple.
Of course Diddy's throwing a party.
One gives away their pride, and the other wants to wank with Diddy.
Anthony Davis gets reeled in for a photo. Accidentally gives free endorsement for a self-help book.
"Will you hold my lame ass book?"
Cheap green screen.
Chris Paul about to be the male Monica Seles.
That feeling when you realize how empty your life is.
Followed by that moment you have one less follower.
Crash and burn.
Nothing would make us feel safer than a delusional crazy person flying us around.
Not sure if gratifying or creepy.
Going to go with...creepy gratifying.
Odds of coming face-to-face?
In a small town like New Orleans, you got a shot.
Zero RT's.
That's a good thing.
It all starts somewhere.
Crib wrecker.
We hate to break this to you...
But you can scratch #2 off that list.
Those people on Twitter who think they're important.
You can usually tell because they have a "TM" after their name. Or, they put "IAM" in front of their name despite the fact that nobody has a fuckin' clue anyway.
The Internet is public, bro.
We'd love to know what they're saying in the comments section and we have no idea where or what "Belbis" is. But here's hoping a guy didn't just get publicly stoned to death so he could get a fucking Valentine's tweet from LeBron James.
Uh...are you expecting a reply?
You don't have a media team.
Then what are you waiting for?
Because her feed says the same thing about Michael Cooper.
Someone explain to her what "VIP" means.
And then go down the list of why she isn't one.
R.I.P. Self-respect.
How's this playing in his head? @KendallJenner: @JordanSPhillips Hey, yeah. Let's hook up.
Baller Alert
Be sure to make up some stories to tell each other over the next week.
Thirst level = Gobi Desert in July.
Thankfully, the Gulf of Mexico is right there.
There's always next year.
How are we supposed to enjoy our weekend knowing so many groupies got snowed in?
Go on...
Like Kevin Costner in Waterworld or Ke$ha, we're talking almost thirsty enough to drink recycled piss.
Dignity, have some.
Who wouldn't wanna follow Michael for his updates on snow days, politics and life in general?
Swin Cash, Shooting Star Challenge contender.
This is right after she stated to respect the athletes.
Here's hoping...
...desperation isn't his kryptonite.
