Just a few days before this past New Years, Lance Armstrong was partying in Aspen, Colo. with girlfriend Anna Hansen when the SUV he was driving hit two parked cars, at which point Lance just drove away. Apparently undeterred by the last time he told a lie, Armstrong convinced Hansen to take the rap to avoid making it into a national story.
Obviously that worked out pretty fuckin' well.
Originally Hansen told police that she lost control of their GMC Yukon on Colorado's perilously icy roads. She told them she was driving because Lance had too much to drink.
At the time of one of the accidents, Hansen ran up to a man (Thomas Van Allen) who was renting one of the cars that was struck. Hansen told Van Allen that the couple would pay for the damages. Van Allen also claims she said "I'm Anna, we're the Armstrongs, my husband's Lance, he was just driving maybe too fast around the corner or something." Then they bailed before the cops could show up.
Once the police finally got her to admit Lance was at fault, she explained her reasoning, saying:
"We've had our family name smeared over every paper in the world in the last couple of years and honestly, I've got teenagers, I just wanted to protect my family. I thought, gosh, Anna Hansen hit some cars, it's not going to show up in the papers, but Lance Armstrong hit some cars, it's going to be a national story."
Hansen escaped any charges stemming from Lance's dipshittery. Armstrong, however, was cited for speeding and not reporting an accident. The fines from the incident could range from 165 to 400 dollars. In addition, failing to report an accident is a misdemeanor punishable by up to 90 days in jail.
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