Alex Rodriguez is feeling regretful.

Yesterday, in his latest act of contrition, A-Rod released a handwritten letter to the New York fans. In it, he apologizes for his performance enhancing drug scandal, acknowledges the fans’ loss of faith in him, and recommits to playing baseball when he starts spring training.

That’s all well and good, but should we believe him? How sorry is he exactly? Is this genuine guilt and sorrow, or a cynical attempt to redeem a career that, not too long ago, seemed a no-brainer, first-year ballot to Cooperstown?

We spoke to Paula A. Sassi, a Master Graphologist, and asked her to analyze A-Rod’s cursive—to see if she could glean any insight. Ms. Sassi is a Certified Master Graphologist, and has over 35 years of experience in the field of handwriting analysis. She works with several employers in personnel selection, including Northwestern Mutual, to find the best possible candidates for key positions. Here, for your enlightenment and amusement, is A Handwriting Analysis of A-Rod’s Letter. Deciphering someone’s chicken scratch has never been this fun.