4. Brek Shea

Lifespan: 2011-present
Reminds Us Of: A teenager's carefully constructed apathy.

The rising American star nailed the trifecta in 2011: Cornrows, a mullet, and a horrible red dye job to match the colors of his FC Dallas club. That did not, however, stop Arsenal from bringing him over to England for a training stint. It's a good thing Shea is so damn impressive on the field.