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Patton Oswalt, whose I Love Everything special was nominated for a Grammy earlier this year, recently made the commendable decision of calling off several stand-up shows due to the venues failing to keep attendees safe amid the ongoing pandemic. Planned stops in Florida and Utah were affected, while the rest of the tour will proceed as scheduled.
“Every other venue on the tour—even the Texas ones—were cool about requiring proof of vaccination or a negative COVID test,” the comedian explained in a recent Instagram video. “I’m really bummed about this.”
Amid continued coverage of this wise (and not unprecedented) decision, Ted Cruz—he of inaccurate Affordable Care Act stats and mid-disaster vacations, among other travesties—attempted to use an article about Oswalt from conservative outlet Blaze Media as an opportunity to best the comedian on Twitter.
“Both of his fans were disappointed,” Cruz wrote when sharing the article about the canceled shows.
By Thursday morning, Oswalt had offered up a succinct reply, noting to his nearly 5 million followers that fans were “not as disappointed as Texas was when you cut your Cancun vacation short and came home.” After offering up a few more retort options, including mentions of the fatal Capitol riot and of Cruz temporarily returning to his “liquid form,” the A.P. Bio star closed out by referring to Cruz as a “friendless, cowardly embarrassment” in possession of a “stupid” beard.
See more below. And if you still aren’t vaccinated, get that in motion now.