'Spider-Man' Reboot Will Not Be an Origin Story, World Breathes Gigantic Sigh of Relief

The second biggest source of contention surrounding the forthcoming 'Spider-Man' film has been resolved.

When Marvel Studios and Sonyannounced the star and director of the forthcoming Spider-Man revival, Twitter descended into chaos on the wings of two gargantuan sources of contention — Where is Donald Glover? Also, will this be another fucking origin story? Thankfully, one of those worries has been officially shelved thanks to a revelation from Spider-Man screenwriters Jonathan Goldstein and John Francis Daley.

"I think that everybody feels like, you know, he got bit by a spider and you know Uncle Ben died," Goldstein told Grantlandin a recent interview. "We probably don't need to revisit that." According to Marvel, this take on Spider-Man will have quite a bit in common with the John Hughes canon of coming-of-age classics — making Tom Holland's general Breakfast Club vibe a perfect fit for the latest incarnation of Peter Parker. The rest of the cast — hopefully guided to cinematic success by indie director Jon Watts — is rumored to include Hugh Laurie, Marisa Tomei, Jason Biggs, and Billy Zane.

As for #Donald4Spiderman's fate? Monday's news that this reboot will avoid the routine origin story route just might be the speculative fire needed to reinvigorate its prominence, despite Glover's insistence that he's simply "too old" for the part. "If I was playing a high schooler," Glover said back in June, "a lot of things would have been wrong." Maybe so, but — with all due respect — #Donald4Spiderman.


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