The 10 Most Memorable Sexual Arrangements in Movies

Is it ever cool for a guy’s wife to cheat on him? You’d think not, but 2007’s effective art-house film Never Forever presents one scenario that justifies infidelity. Vera Farmiga stars as the wife of a Korean American man whose un-super sperm aren’t strong enough for her to have a baby. After her hubby tries killing himself as a result, Farmiga finds a struggling immigrant and offers him $300 for each sexual encounter until she’s pregnant; once she’s knocked up, he’ll get $30,000. Keep in mind, it’s all to provide her suicidal husband with the child he so desperately wants. You got to admit, that’s pretty damn romantic. Not to mention, it’s a win-win for dude, who gets paid to romp with Vera Farmiga repeatedly. Makes you hate your job, doesn’t it?

When ambiguously named Sam (Lara Flynn Boyle) is mistakenly placed with male college roommates Eddy (Josh Charles) and Stuart (Stephen Baldwin), the trio becomes entangled in a love triangle. Sam falls for Eddy, who's totally gay for Stuart, who lusts after Sam, and eventually they get over their inhibitions and agree to an all-roommates-can-participate sex-fest. Not the hot-dog-to-bun ratio we look for in a threesome, but hey, college is a learning experience.

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If you’re the type to “pause” suspect statements at will, you may want to just move onto the next page. For all of us other mature folk, the quirky and lo-fi Humpday tackles a very taboo subject and generates an abundance of laughs. In order to impress artsy bisexual chicks and convince themselves that they are liberated, old friends Ben (Mark Duplass) and Andrew (Joshua Leonard) agree to make the ultimate art film—two straight dudes smushing. Their bravado and discomfort enhances the comedy as the impending money-shots inch closer to reality. As the, ahem, climax approaches, the gravity of the situation weighs the guys down, and several questions (including “Who’s going to penetrate?”) arise. *Cough* Pause. *Cough*

Admittedly, we’ve signed up for a few online dating sites during our past dry spells, but none of the subsequent dinner partners looked anything like Julia Roberts. One resembled Eric Roberts, but let’s forge ahead, shall we? With money to blow, Richard Gere’s millionaire character compensates for his single status by paying Roberts’ hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold to act as his stand-in girlfriend. In true romantic comedy fashion, they fall in love and live happily ever after, debunking that age-old piece of West Coast hip-hop wisdom: “You can’t turn a ho into a housewife.”

Even though Seth Rogen’s intentions are far more platonic in writer-director Kevin Smith’s flick, his character’s scheme is ingenious. If we had a platonic female friend as hot as Elizabeth Banks, we’d try to navigate out of the friend zone on a daily basis. So what better way to not sound creepy while requesting sex than to pitch a low-rent, bill-paying porno movie? The feelings built through years of close friendship would surface, of course, much like in the movie, but that’s all right. They say “friends make the best lovers,” right? Especially pals that look like Ms. Banks.

Brace yourselves for a truly world-shattering thought. Are you ready? Here goes: It’s better to delay sex if you really want to get to know a girl. As blasphemous as that sounds, it’s true. Take the budding relationship between Steve Carell’s inexperienced dater and Catherine Keener’s single mother in Judd Apatow’s hilarious The 40-Year-Old Virgin. Having never laid the pipe, the middle-aged Carell fears that misfiring beneath the sheets could ruin a good thing, so he manages to push sex back 20 dates. In turn, he and Keener are able to fall for each other’s actual person and not simply what’s under their respective belts. And that, wannabe gigolos, is how it should be done. Sadly, one night stands don’t qualify as meaningful relationships.

Horror master Clive Barker’s stories are known for their grotesque balance of gory shocks and sexual perversion, and Hellraiser is one of his best works. Barker wrote and directed this genre classic, recognized more for its mascot, Cenobite leader Pinhead, than its immensely sick premise. After the demon-ish Cenobites kill a guy, he convinces an old fling to lure horny guys back to his resting place so he can slaughter them, drain their blood, and slowly regenerate his flesh. Thanks to Hellraiser, we’ll never go back to a potential hook-up’s place once the bar closes. It’s strictly our crib or the highway.

In the Sigmund Freud sort of way, the automobile-specific trysts seen in director David Cronenberg’s erotically demented Crash are unhealthy. The collision of James Spader’s and Holly Hunter’s rides kills her husband, so how does Hunter react? She forgets about mourning and starts banging the other driver. The wrecks triggers something dysfunctional inside Spader and Hunter, and their now-twisted urges relegate their sexual encounters to the setting that united them: car interiors. Screw Siggy Freud, though; that’s a pretty sweet arrangement, if you ask us. Just ponder it for a second: road-head, roomy backseats, ass-warming front seats. The possibilities are endless.

Those omnipresent “Get out of debt now” commercials have nothing on Robert Redford’s hefty bank account. As a home-wrecker in Indecent Proposal, Redford flashes his bankroll in front of a monetarily burdened man (Woody Harrelson) who just happens to have a fiery-hot wife (Demi Moore). Knowing that money does indeed talk, Redford offers an excessive amount of Benjamins to Harrelson for one night with Moore; in other words, dude pimps out his spouse so he can dig himself out of a financial hole. One million bucks should just about cover the marriage counseling bills.

Now here’s a ritual we can support. After meeting by chance inside an apartment building, two consenting adults smack backs, and, in order to prolong the pleasure, they agree to withhold all backstories and frequently reunite for physical-minded sex. That means no tales of ex-boyfriends, no judgmental parents, and, best of all, no cash spent on overpriced dinner dates. It’s just the good stuff, but, unfortunately, the guy (Marlon Brando) can’t quite grasp the ideal concept; he eventually professes his love to the woman (Maria Schneider), which proves to be a fatal mistake for Brando. Way to spoil an offer we’d never refuse.