Image via Complex Original
Thanks to the new horror movie, Krampus is getting all the shine this holiday season. The horned and hooved Austrian monster was largely unknown in America's Christmas streets, even though Christoph Waltz did his best to spread the good (bad?) word a year ago. Don't think Austria is alone in working through traumatization, though. The rest of the world is filled with horrifying characters that give South Park's Christmas Critters a run for their money. And then there's Catalonia, which for some reason is obsessed with shit and has two Xmas traditions tied to defecation. Educate yourself on worldly affairs and be glad we've got a St. Nick that stays jolly.
Caganer (Catalonia)
Nativity scenes in Catalonia feature a striking addition to the one’s we’re used to seeing: the Caganer. “El Caganer” literally translates to “the shitter,” and the little defecator has been a Christmas tradition in Catalonia since the 18th century. Instead of just the manger scene, their Nativity scenes encompass the entire city of Bethlehem, which means baby Jesus can at least get a little space from the Caganer.
Tio de Nadal (Catalonia)
Okay, Catalonia is really obsessed with shit. In addition to the Caganer, the Spanish community also has Tio de Nadal, a.k.a. the “poo log.” The hollow log is “fed” in the leadup to Christmas, and was traditionally placed in the fire so it could crap out presents. But now that fireplaces are less common, children participate in the more humane practice of beating it with a stick. After it’s done “shitting out” small gifts like candles and nuts, it’ll end the party by urinating a bowl of water.
Sinterklaas and Zwarte Piet (Netherlands)
Sinterklaas seems pretty chill, but he needs to reconsider his friendships. The Santa predecessor rolls with a dude named Zwarte Piet who rocks black face. And when they’re together they walk around with presents (yay!) and a chimney broom made of willow branches to spank naughty children (less yay!).
Mari Lwyd (Wales)
Mari Lwyd looks like a character straight out of True Detective season one. It doesn’t do anything nefarious, but it’s still hard as an outsider not to be creeped out by the horse skull mounted on a stick and held up underneath a hood. Are we sure this thing’s last name isn’t Ledoux?
Yule Cat (Iceland)
Fox News would love Yule Cat. The monster straight out of Icelandic folklore/capitalist ideals is a monstrous cat said to lurk in the countryside to eat those who didn’t get new clothes before Christmas Eve. Farmers used the threat against their workers to finish processing wool. Those who helped got new alphets, and those who didn’t became capitalist cat food.
Yule Lads (Iceland)
Yule may as well be a prefix for “frightening” in Iceland. The Yule Lads are part of a squad of pranksters described as mischievous...and even criminal. Each of the 13 Lads has a specific role, which mostly concern stealing food and scaring children. There’s even one called the window-peeper, which certainly sounds more criminal than mischievous. Still, they might not be as terrifying as Santacon participants.
Kallikantzaroi (Greece)
The Kallikantzaroi is an entire race of goblins who emerge from underground for the 12 days of Christmas to torment the Greeks. And any child born during their period of harassment is liable to become one of the goblins. While they’re underground they saw away at the "world tree" to bring it down and take the world with it. But their annual reign of terror provides enough time for the tree to heal.
Krampus (Austria)
Krampus is the king Christmas baddie and the yin to Santa Claus’ yang. While jolly, red Santa rewards the good kids, the hooved, hairy, and horned Krampus punishes the bad with a beating stick and kidnapping bag at his disposal. Austria even has its own Krampuscon, officially known as Krampusnacht, that’s been going on for centuries.
