If you were born and raised in the '90s, chances are those syllables bring one thing to mind—Daria. The animated show on MTV became something of a cult classic for many reasons, the main one being title character Daria Morgendorffer's pessimistic and unenthusiastic demeanor, something a lot of us could relate to. She never had much to say, but when she did speak, she kept it real.
But Daria wasn't the only one dropping knowledge on the show. Her best friend, Jane Lane, often served as her foil, adding a bit of attitude to Daria's distinguishable monotone delivery. Both characters spoke the truth in ways that probably made us cynical at a very young age. But who ultimately kept it realer, Daria or Jane Lane?
Jane Lane's side eye and her sarcastic, “Am I missing something?” behind a bunch of basic boys lets you know her thoughts on relationships.
But Daria truly captures what's most important about relationships here. Trust? Sure. Love? Ok. Liking the same pizza toppings? Instant compatibility. When you're on the same page when it comes to pizza toppings, you're practically on the same page for life, which Daria totally understands.
On Keeping Fuccbois in Their Place…
Daria's method of handling basic boys is great. After all, when you have your best friend by your side along with a nice warm pizza to share, the last thing you want bothering you is some lame dude that probably doesn't even like the same pizza toppings as you.
But Jane's response is just…real. Respect Jane's quickness, as she shifts from a polite smile to that distinguishable scowl we've all come to fear and love.
Winner: Jane Lane
On Low Self Esteem…
What makes both Daria and Jane Lane so great is that they rarely show vulnerability. But when they do, we're reminded that at the end of the day they're just like us—cynical, pizza-loving humans who deal with the same internal struggles we do. Daria's response to having low self-esteem comes off as a little guarded.
Jane, on the other hand, tells it like it is. It's easy to empathize with Jane because we've all been there. One day our fleek levels are over 9,000, and the next we're pouring our hearts out via GIFs on our Tumblr. The low self-esteem struggle is very real, and Jane is right there with us.
Winner: Jane Lane
Jane Lane expresses how we constantly tell ourselves that we're going to get stuff done as soon as we're finished with something else (watching one episode of House of Cards or listening to the new Kendrick Lamar single, for example), only to get lost in the vast digital world of the Internet.
While we appreciate Jane's progress here, Daria captures how we behave practically every day. But what makes Daria's pro-procrastination statement even better is that she says she was busy procrastinating. How we wish we could follow in your footsteps, Daria.
On Making Friends…
Both Daria and Jane's responses are similar when it comes to friendship—and they're anything but warm and fuzzy. Meeting new people takes time and effort. Plus, when you're solo you don't need to worry about anyone else.
Jane has that extra bite that would elicit flame and prayer hands emojis. Granted, Jane has found her ride or die companion in Daria, so maybe if she didn't have her BFF, she might have a different opinion.
Winner: Jane Lane
On the Beauty of Sleep…
When life forces you out of your bed, the simple answer is just to fall asleep somewhere else.
Sure, a teacher will probably wake you up, or your boss might finally have found that last reason they needed to fire you, but if you're like Jane Lane, you give zero fucks.
Winner: Jane Lane
On High School…
Jane's critique of high school homecoming could probably be used as a criticism on high school as a whole. For the most part, you're dealing with cliques, basic-ass superficial people, and the fact that five days out of the week you have to spend several hours of your life in a place that makes you grateful weekends exist.
While Jane expands on this theme, Daria is straight to the point.
On Our Obsession With Looks…
Feeling yourself and looking good, or just being comfortable with yourself is a boost to your self-esteem and well-being. But when it becomes an obsession it can also become problematic, something that Jane Lane puts poetically.
Daria takes a broader view than Jane Lane and points out our culture's problem with judging people based on how they look.
On the Greatness of the Internet…
Sometimes no one gets us quite like our computer.
Daria totally knows how we feel, and isn't ashamed to say her closest companion (aside from Jane Lane and her refrigerator) is a machine that brings her into contact with so many things from across the world.
If you're not asking yourself what life is on some philosophical, existentialist type shit, then are you really living? And if you're not constantly realizing that life kind of sucks, then are you telling the truth? Daria and Jane are both on point here, which is why it's a tie. Sometimes you have to realize that life isn't all rainbows and unicorns, but a combination of problems that are kind of out of your control. Well, at the very least we have pizza.