Image via Complex Original
News anchor is the greatest job on earth. Besides celebrity status and, often times, a large paycheck, these narrators of the day's events work a mere 30 minutes at a time. And, the only job requirements are a collection of suit jackets, the ability to read from a teleprompter, and perceptible self-confidence. The catch? If you screw up—even the tiniest bit—your workplace gaffe will forever live in infamy on YouTube.
Luckily for the Channel 4 News team (Ron Burgundy in particular), news bloopers weren't a principal source of entertainment in the 1970s. So, Burgundy & Co. could (and did) embarrass themselves on live television without the threat of going viral. However, today's TV anchors, reporters, and weathermen aren't so lucky. To celebrate the opening of Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues on Friday, we've collected audition tape deep cuts from some of the most flippant, pompous, and Burgundy-like anchors on the net. Behold, News Anchors Who Act More Like Ron Burgundy Than Ron Burgundy.
“I ate cat vomit right here on television!”
Anchor: Scott Haney
Market: Hartford, Conn.
Date: 10/9/2013
Demonstrates a Ron Burgundy level of: Showmanship
As smart phones and Twitter make weather updates and televised newscasts increasingly obsolete, on-air talent will have to resort to Miley Cyrus-like lows to maintain an audience. Enter Scott Haney, who is willing to eat cat vomit off of the floor for your amusement.
Rejection on Live TV Just Hurts More
Anchor: Andrew Johnson
Market: Vancouver, British Columbia
Date: 8/22/2013
Demonstrates a Ron Burgundy level of: Flirtatiousness
Thankfully, anchor Andrew Johnson didn't respond to his spurned advances by calling the weather woman a "dirty pirate hooker."
"Keep f*cking that chicken."
Anchor: Ernie Anastos
Market: New York
Date: September 2009
Demonstrates a Ron Burgundy level of: Professionalism
Ernie Anastos compliments a weather forecast by telling one of his co-hosts to "keep fucking that chicken." It doesn't make any sense, but—if we've learned anything from Ron Burgundy—a confident cadence and a some cheesy laughter can totally cloak an anchor's gaffe.
“My gums are itchy.”
Anchor: Lisa Dutton
Market: Saskatchewan, Canada
Date: 2/12/2013
Demonstrates a Ron Burgundy level of: Fearlessness
Lisa Dutton is either woefully unaware or has a diabolically brilliant understanding of guerrilla marketing. In 2012, Dutton made headlines for her pick-a-dick line and, earlier this year, encored with this ovation-worthy piece of performance theater. It takes a Ron Burgundy-like moxie to spearhead this sort of viral advertising campaign.
Anchor Mistakes Ream of Paper for an iPad
Anchor: Simon McCoy
Market: Great Britain
Date: 9/17/2013
Demonstrates a Ron Burgundy level of: Situational awareness
During a stand-up shot, Simon McCoy mistakenly grabs a ream of printer paper instead of his iPad and, like a total pro, just rolls with it. Things can get chaotic in the world of live television, but even Ron Burgundy is shaking his head at this one.
"We hunted the dildo into extinction."
Anchor: Jonathan Mann
Market: United States
Date: 7/23/13
Demonstrates a Ron Burgundy level of: Poise
You have to give CNN news host Jonathan Mann credit for the way he bounces back after declaring that man hunted penis-like sex toys into extinction. You can't learn this level of composure in broadcasting school. One's just born with this kind of grace.
Live from the Scene of a TV Set
Anchor(s): Larry Potash and Robin Baumgarten
Market: Chicago
Date: November 2012
Demonstrate a Ron Burgundy level of: Buffoonery
WGN Morning News anchors Larry Potash and Robin Baumgarten present live images of a supposed plane crash on a Chicago area highway. As the two try to make sense of the artfully framed carnage, word comes that it's just part of a TV set. These guys could learn a thing or two about how to break news from Mr. Burgundy.
“Let's get the f*ck outta here.”
Anchor: Justin Kraemer
Market: Wichita, Kan.
Date: 12/14/2013
Demonstrates a Ron Burgundy level of: Candor
If YouTube existed in the fictional '70s, Ron Burgundy's famous "Go fuck yourself, San Diego" sign-off would've been the decade's "Gangnam Style." Lucky for Burgundy, he read the news at a time when on-air talent could mess up with relative liberty. Justin Kraemer, however, is not so fortunate. "Let's get the fuck out of here," is a strangely profound rallying cry for disgruntled anchors, so there's that.
The Ultimate Anchor vs. Reporter Showdown
Anchor: Jim Ryan
Market: New York
Date: July 19, 2001
Demonstrates a Ron Burgundy level of: Surliness
During a seemingly innocuous story about a broken elevator, two WNYW newsmen square off on-air like suited versions of David Lee Roth and Sammy Hagar. Sure, San Diego's KVWN Channel 4 news team is volatile, but not nearly as unstable as the relationship between Jim Ryan and Dick Oliver.
AJ Clemente's Rough Start
Anchor: AJ Clemente
Market: Bismarck, N.D.
Date: 4/21/2013
Demonstrates a Ron Burgundy level of: Refinement
It's not easy to make it in broadcast news, particularly when your third line as a professional anchor is, "Okay, fucking shit." While Burgundy's known to drop the occasional expletive-laden tirade, he demonstrates more grace after a bottle of Johnnie Walker than AJ Clemente does in this clip.
