Image via Complex Original
Unisex bathrooms are on the rise. Though the idea behind non-gendered facilities may seem strange, or like much ado about nothing, the stakes are high. For people who don't fit into the traditional gender binary (male or female), unisex restrooms offer a more comfortable setting. As such, the issue of unisex bathrooms has become highly politicized.
While we support the move towards a non-gendered toilet situation, we know that the first time you see a combined bathroom, you might be overwhelmed. You'll be travelling in uncharted toilet waters. We're here to help you navigate the strange new frontier in which a woman you are trying to sweet talk at the bar might end up in the stall next to you.
These are the Unspoken Rules of Etiquette for Unisex Bathrooms.
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10. Don't Make the Stall Your Office
Every multi-tasker is guilty of this one. Your visits to the bathroom are often an excuse to email or tweet when you know your date would find it rude if you did so at the dinner table. A unisex restroom likely means that twice the number of people are waiting in line behind you. Save that tweet as a draft and wait to watch the latest Harlem Shake video until after you've done your downtown shake. Multi-tasking is wonderful, just not in this particular environment.
9. Do Clean up After Yourself
Okay, we'll spare you the typical sitcom trope of "don't forget to put the seat down," but there is no excuse not to leave your porcelin campsite better than you found it. Atone for your sins: if you do something you aren't proud of in there, keep it your secret shame and tidy up after yourself. Nowhere in life does the golden rule apply more than in john.
8. Do Be Patient
The line is already going to be longer than you are used to: your patience will be put to the test. Be prepared to wait again at the sink. Don't hover right behind a lady, coughing lightly and passive-aggressively urging her to move along. Remember that cultural expectations of a woman are a little different than those for men.
If a man is wearing pants at all, he gets a pass, and if they aren't sweatpants, he is probably in the running for "best dressed" in a given establishment. Women deserve the right to check their make-up and adjust their outfit before they return to the judging eyes of society's (mostly male) gaze. And hey, if you need an extra minute to try to get that marinara sauce stain out of your sweatpants, hopefully the lady behind you in line for the sink will be just as compassionate.
7. Don't Make Small Talk
Guys have this weird tendency to make small talk when someone they know walks into the men's room. In our experience, these discussions, always about sports or the weather, aim at somehow making a situation less awkward. These convos tend to have the opposite effect. Spare the women your point of view on Tom Brady's in-game mechanics or your surprise that it is colder than expected today. In a unisex bathroom, it is all about the business at hand.
6. Do Avert Your Eyes
Don't act like you just stumbled on a drug deal or a mafia contract killing; no one is going to fit you with cement shoes as a result of what you see in a unisex bathroom.
That being said, no one wants to be leered at while they are using the loo. We're aware that you probably aren't the kind of person who gets off on Peeping Tom action (we hope), but remember that most people don't even let their significant others know they use the bathroom at all until at least three months into their relationship. Do yourself a favor and keep your eye-line clear of anyone else's waistline.
5. Don't Hog the Stalls
The unisex bathrooms may have urinals. Though we can legislate that bathrooms be open to all, we can't legislate the nature of the female anatomy (actually, you can try, but only terrible senators from South Dakota attempt it). If you don't need the stall for anything but tweeting on the john, save that open seat for the next lady who's been waiting patiently in line.
4. Do Restock the Toilet Paper
We're going to go out on a limb and say that toilet paper is pretty vital to the bathroom experience. It's already awkward when you have to ask a stranger to take pity and pass some extra TP between stalls, but this weirdness could reach previously unkown levels of discomfort if you have to cross gender lines. Pay it forward for that next patron on the potty and find a way to replenish their supply. Don't leave anyone stranded: It's hard enough in there as it is.
3. Don't Hook Up in There
Some shrewd business owners have realized that if you have unisex bathrooms, you might be able to get by with only one facility or even cut back on your total number of stalls. Don't further limit our options because of your libido.
Don't get us wrong, everyone should be entitled to at least one bathroom hook-up a year. It's good for the soul. We would just encourage you to walk to the sports bar down the block and take up residence in their men's room. Spontaneous exhibitionism is all well and good, just not at the risk of the spontaneous combustion of our bladders.
2. Don't Make it Awkward
Even if you have spent your formative years in a rural area, and the only unisex bathroom you've ever seen is your grandfather's outhouse, there is no reason to stare at the women staring this space with you like they're alien intruders. For the record, making jokes about the situation make you appear equally awkward.
You'll have many difficult encounters with women, but sharing a bathroom shouldn't be one of them. If this is the hardest thing you have to do today, you should re-assess your social skills.
1. Don't Hold Back
Regardless of what ojbections neo-cons may have, unisex bathroom are likely here to stay. You might as well get used to it. Despite all of these ground rules, a bathroom is a bathroom. Men using a bathroom isn't always a pleasant thing: if you've ever used the toilet at a Chipotle, Five Guys, or a state fair (shudder), then you know what we're talking about.
It is not only okay, it is your duty to use the bathroom as if it were any other bathroom. Proudly march into the facilities and utilize them to your heart's content. Don't just hold it until you get back to your place out of a sense of courtesy. Do your part for the advancement of civilization and proudly where men and women have not both gone at the same time before.
