25 Ridiculous Coffee Table Books

Image via Complex Original

Author: Julie Haas Brophy

If you were on the fence about whether or not to help make your baby a baby mama, we might suggest taking a look at this before you leave the Trojans on the night stand. Brophy advertises her books as "quite possibly the best birth control on the market," and she doesn't disappoint.

From pics of "toilets clogged with clothes" to "furniture accented with permanent marker," this might be just the thing to invest in for those gentlemen out there who are deeply afraid of taking those next steps and want to put the fear of child rearing into your girl as well.

Authors: Justin Taylor, Eva Talmadge

That's right, folks, you can now enjoy tattooed quotes from must-read authors Vonnegut, Plath, and Pynchon outside the confines of those awful OKCupid dates and the lower back of the hip barista you endlessly ogle at your local coffee shop. If trying to make out what is written on your favorite cute librarian or bookstore employee's sleeve through her blouse has become tiresome, you can now enjoy literary body art in the comfort of your own home.

Bonus: You don't have to talk to any of these people about the inspiration for their tattoos to be polite!

Author: Stephen Green-Armytage

What makes a chicken extraordinary? Well, we don't want to spoil this book that we assume most of you are going to pick up as soon as you finish this feature, but it can be any number of things.

Reviewer Lucy Watson summarized it like this: The book features "chickens with bouffant hairdos, chickens with 'fur,' chickens that look as if they have been drawn by animators on acid. Long legs, short legs, legs with 'trousers' on, legs with scales. Proud roosters strutting their stuff, miniature bantams with Napoleon complexes, coy araucanas hiding their heads." We can hear your heart pounding and feel your palms sweating with anticipation.

Authors: James Innes-Smith, Henrietta Webb

There was a time when you had to dig through old yearbooks if you wanted to spend an evening with a bottle of wine reminiscing about the awful hairdos of yesteryear. Smith and Webb have done all of the heavy lifting for you with Bad Hair, seeking out photos of long-forgotten hairstyles to find the absolute worst cuts known to man.

These photos get even better when you consider that every single one of them once hung in a salon window as a suggestion of what people should willingly put themselves through.

Author: Veronique Vial

Judging by the photos we've seen, this was largely an excuse to photograph famously hot women semi-nude in bed, which we clearly don't have much of a problem with here at Complex. We just find it funny when these motives are passed off as some sort of artistic expression.

While Vial insists that she wanted to capture something "raw, real, natural...no makeup, no posing, I wanted their souls," we found ourselves mostly trying to capture a peak at some sideboobage.

Author: Martin Gitlin

If this book were just 350 full colored pictures of cereal, that would be enough to earn it a permanent spot on your coffee table next your actual morning cereal bowl. Add the inside scoops (sorry, we had to) on a number of your favorite cereals, and it is hard pass on helping yourself to this book.

If you were worried that this book would be anything less than comprehensive, rest assured that this cereal history begins in 1863 and takes us on a 150 years journey throughout our balanced breakfasts, from turn of the century cereals like "Elijah's Manna" through present day favorites.

Author: Will Huygen

Sorry that we didn't get this gem in front of your eyes until a month after Christmas, because we know that you were tossing and turning, laying awake at night trying to think of what to get that gnome lover on your list for Christmas.

Not only does this book have all of the gnome renderings you have been craving, but it is also chock full of gnome facts and accounts of gnome sightings. If anyone in your family is the sort of person who has more than, say, zero lawn ornaments, they probably have the fragile grip on reality that would make them a perfect candidate to enjoy this book.

Authors: Ron Guth, Jeff Garrett

We know y'all have been waiting to get word of the definitive book of U.S. coinage. Well, your wait has come to an end. In this book, you can see, in lush, full color, a picture of every penny, nickel, dime, and quarter to ever come down the pike in our country's history. Every single one.

We are pretty sure that only numismatists (a fancy word for coin collectors, apparently) would keep this on their table. Everyone else would probably keep it unpurchased.

Authors: Joe Pickett, Nick Prueher

This book provides you with all the joy of rummaging through a bin of old video tapes at a yard sale without the vigilant eyes of a sad old neighbor ruining the experience. Pickett and Pruitt run the traveling "Found Footage Festival," where they exhibit the best of out-of-print videos. For this project, they put all of their favorite VHS covers together in one hilarious volume. The vintage fitness tape covers alone are worth the price of admission.

Author: Bill Keagy

Bill Keagy has a collection of thousands of grocery lists from around the world. For this book, he took 150 of his favorites and shared them with the us. Keagy, as well as his many readers, have been struck by the voyeuristic experience of reading these lists. There are few, if any, other circumstances under which anyone would read another person's grocery list. These lists of foods on paper may have been nonchalantly written, but were meant to be as personal as a diary.

It's an intriguing thought. It's almost enough to make us understand why Keagy has a collection of thousands of these. Almost.

Author: John Chonko

This book will help you relive some of the tastiest lunches you have ever experienced. Any book could feature 150 pages of sandwiches, but how many sandwich photographers have the presence of mind to shoot all of the sandwiches in a cross-section, taking advantage of the view that you would see right before devouring them?

We love the pictures, but one reviewer went so far as to recommend it "even if you hate sandwiches." First off, who hates sandwiches? Secondly, we wouldn't go that far. You probably have to really enjoy sandwiches to get anything out of this book.

Author: Jennifer McKinight-Trontz

Finally, every poster from your middle-school health class and guidance counselor's office has been combined into one way-too-cute book. Not only does this book feature the expected number of kittens, but you will also be treated to chimps, colts, lion cubs, and raccoons that look adorable and give you a new hope for humanity. Even the most macho dude among us can benefit from motivational lines and photos of animals hanging on to things.

Authors: Clay Anderson, Bruce Dale

We aren't saying that a thorough exploration of American geographical regions and their culture is ridiculous. We are saying that such a study makes for a pretty ridiculous coffee table book.

Let us set the scene for you. You finally get that smoking hot babe back to your place, you pour her a glass of wine, and she sits down on your couch to leaf through a book of...decrepit farmers and prematurely aged coalminers.

We think there is immense value in learning about the rich mountainous regions of our great country and the people who inhabit them, and we invite you take a look at some pieces from the book here, but we also invite you to put that bad boy on the book shelf when company comes over, as it may spoil the mood.

Authors: Ron Warren, Arne Svenson

The great news is that if you love this volume, you can look forward to what projects to be 8.25 more books of black-and-white pictures of sock puppets.

There is something compelling about the story of these sock puppets. Ron Warren began collecting them in 1985, and Arne Svenson, a photographer, met Warren some time later, and became fixated on Warren's obsession. Svenson in turn became obsessed with photographing each of Warren's sock puppets.

While this is an interesting story, it is not interesting enough to make us look at two thousand photos of sock puppets.

Authors: Mike Bender, Doug Chernack

We're sure that many of you have already stumbled across the Internet sensation AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com, but maybe you didn't know that you can have a finely bound tome of these ridiculous and amazing photos perched right next to your actual photo albums.

Much has been written about just how damn funny the photos that Bender dug up truly are, but it bears mentioning that there is a sweet side to this book as well. The book serves as a reminder that no matter how awkward things may have gotten on your family trips to Sears or at tourists traps on vacation, there is always a family even more out there right around the corner, or a page turn away.

Authors: Rich E. Dreben, Murduc Knight, Marty A. Sindhian

We doubt you'll be able to get through this collection of 100 X-rays very quickly. Each image will make you do a little page-turn rubber-necking, forcing double and triple takes, as you wonder, for example, "How did that fork end up in that part of his body?" The snarky accompanying short essays are fun, but the real draw of this table book is that age-old question, "How did they get that in there?"

Authors: Zak Smith, Steve Erickson

Say what you will, but you certainly can't accuse the man of false advertising. Smith delivers exactly what he promises with over seven-hundred images interpreting the events of Pynchon's notoriously challenging novel.

We imagine the story of what motivated Smith to undertake this project is probably even more engaging than the striking drawings that fill the book. Sure, stumbling across Smith's book prompted us to wonder aloud "Who would do that?" but it was in a tone composed of equal parts confusion and admiration.

Author: Seth Casteel

Sure, there are any number of picture books of animals out there, but how many books are there of animals underwater? Seth Casteel sets out with this book to finally give that traditionally under-presented group of animals in water their fair shake at long last. Alternately humorous, rejuvenating, and even a little scary, these pictures of man's best friend in man's most essential liquid make us wonder why someone didn't think of taking pictures like this sooner.

Author: Lindsay McCrum

In case you were hoping that this was a book filled with leather-clad Pamela Anderson types wielding AKs, let us go ahead and disappoint you. Christopher Brinkly warns, "Don't be deceived by the frisky title: Lindsay McCrum's Chicks with Guns is a deadly (sorry) serious work of cultural iconography." Sorry, fellas, it's more likely to make you think than fulfill your fetish for ladies packing heat.

The book might change your perception of female gun-owners, though, and if you want something more exciting, there are probably a bunch of pornos out there where women play cops or join the army or something.

Author: Oliviero Toscani

Sixty-eight different varieties of animal shit: That is what you are going to get in this lovely volume, produced, for some reason, by United Colors of Benetton. Your inner 6-year-old will be grateful to get the low down on dungs from across the animal kingdom.

Even the most sophisticated among you will likely giggle at least a few times as you leaf through the pages of this one, and maybe you'll learn something, too. But, either way, there will definitely be childish giggling involved.

Author: Steve Mockus

Steve Mockus set out with an honorable goal: He wanted to create a book of images that stoners would enjoy staring at more than the wood-grain on the coffee table or a spot on the ceiling whilst they were partaking of the stickiest of the icky.

As you would expect, many stereotypical stoners' favorite things make an appearance between these pages, including pizza, Doritos, cupcakes, kittens, bunnies, and MC Escher-style labyrinths. All that's missing is a glow-in-the-dark Grateful Dead tapestry. We might have finally found the perfect gift for that friend who smokes everything.

Author: Anne Geddes

How did this become a thing? Who could have guessed that if you put babies in flower pots or dressed them up like various fruits or waterfowl, you can basically print money?

Anne Geddes is the sole owner of the Lifetime Achievement Award for the creation of ridiculous coffee table books. This was the first of six books from Geddes, and countless journals, greeting cards, calendars, and mugs have been made out of her babies-in-weird-costumes pics.

If you don't like it, that's fine. Anne will be too busy swimming in her Olympic-sized pool filled with $20 bills and being massaged by square-jawed houseboys who serve her daiquiris and fan her with palm fronds all day to hear your complaints.

Authors: Scott Allen Perry, Adam Mock, Eric Curtis

What a ridiculous, amazing idea. The book's description says it all: "Using superheroes as the allegory, this colorful photo narrative explores the not-so-glamorous and sometimes dark realities of those who strive to live their dreams against all odds."

In this coffee table book, we see fully realized visions of cut-rate, low-rent superheroes gardening, bathing, and getting high. Though there is something profound to be evidenced in the mundanity of "normal" superheroes lives, the premise is as ridiculous as it is affecting.

Author: Raphael Mazzucco 

If we ever find ourselves with fame or fortune, we only hope that we can use our power as beautifully as Diddy has wielded his. Diddy used his significant influence to get this book—which, yes, is just a book of artsy pictures of women's asses—sold by fine booksellers everywhere. We know that you are just going to google it anyway, so here are some pics from the book.

Author: Cosmo Kramer

OK, this one doesn't technically exist, but it is the most O.G. of ridiculous coffee table books. The gag that began in season five of Seinfeld not only involved a coffee table book with pictures of coffee tables, but the book itself also folded out into a coffee table.

We feel that all ridiculous coffee table books owe at least some debt to this immortal Seinfeld joke.