Pretty much every former SNL cast mate's stories sound legendary, but Amy Poehler just put herself in the upper echelon.
In a chapter of her new memoir Yes, Please, obtained by Radar, Poehler talks about two of her past loves: cocaine and ping pong. In short, cocaine is very cool because it allows you to play table tennis like you're Forest Fuckin' Gump. On the other hand, it's very bad because, hangovers. As Poehler explains:
"I tried cocaine, which I instantly loved but eventually hated ... Cocaine is terrific if you want to hang out with people you don’t know very well and play Ping-Pong all night. It’s bad for almost everything else … The day after cocaine is rough."
Leslie Knope didn't just get into blow though. In the chapter, appropriately titled "Obligatory Drug Stories," Poehler gives her thoughts on molly (good for New Year's Eve parties), mushrooms (great for profound thinking), and marijuana (still OK to do, when the responsibilities of motherhood aren't too pressing).
Wow, drugs are tight.
