The political satire series The Beaverton, described by Uproxx as "Canada's version" of The Daily Show, responded to news of the Republicans' Electoral College majority Tuesday by issuing a somber obituary for the United States of America. The death was billed as Beaverton's "top story" of the week, though their experts argue the country's demise wasn't a complete shock to outsiders.
"The United States was found dead last night in its North American home," Miguel Rivas told viewers in the clip. "Investigators have ruled the death a suicide, the result of 300 million gunshot wounds to the foot. The nation was only 240." But the signs were there, Emma Hunter explained.
"Recently neighbors became concerned when the nation started arguing with itself, developed type 2 diabetes, and yelled at brown kids to get off its lawn," Hunter said. For those wondering, don't even bother sending flowers. The States' surviving family members have made a special request. "In lieu of flowers, the family asks that you send bombs to the Middle East," Rivas said.
This bold slice of Canadian satire is, for the most part, miles above the majority of American content that's popped up surrounding the election. Well done, Canada. You're currently doing a better job at explaining America than America itself.