Don't you just despise that dude [NAME REDACTED]? What a simpleton. I mean, the sheer presence of [NAME REDACTED] really is just a chore to endure. With the holidays right around the corner, how can I let Mr. Redacted know exactly how I feel without ever actually saying anything? Introducing Awards Against Humanity, a definitely real business that actually exists:

Awards Against Humanity

"Being an adult is hard," reads the website's bio page. "Definitely harder than being a kid. So how come only kids are celebrated for simply 'showing up' or 'trying'? By giving a Participation Award, you are praising (and poking fun of) that special someone for their mediocre effort or lackluster results." Finally! Due solely to the fact that mankind's astronomical cynicism simply knows no bounds, we now have a way of anonymously condescending our enemies without leaving the house.

Sean Williams, the founder and/or genius behind Awards Against Humanity, spoke with Bro Bible to rightfully brag about the site’s recent successes. For the budget-conscious among us still in need of some anonymous mockery, fear not: such services begin at just $14.95.