Just days after admittedly disappointing a nation with his bizarrely mild Donald Trump confrontation, still-fresh Late Show chief Stephen Colbert is back in fine form thanks to the super underground news item that is Pope Francis and his thorough tour of New York City. In fact, Colbert excitedly dedicated a vast majority of Thursday's broadcast to all things Pope, including but thankfully not limited to an investigative report on the increasingly baffling assortment of Pope Francis merchandise currently emptying wallets all across the country:

However, Colbert's affinity for all things Pope Francis is actually a far more personal endeavor than his well-known devotion to Catholicism might imply. Colbert, sensing a kindred comedic spirit, just wants to responsibly throw down with the pope while building a legitimate and lasting friendship:

"You and I can be real friends," Colbert offers. "You need someone who will be there for you, someone to text you after you watch the finale of Bachelor in Paradise. We can get together, throw back a few Mike’s Hard [Lemonades], and just talk." Competing theories aside, perhaps this is Colbert's less-than-subtle hint that Pope Francis will be dropping by Late Show to do exactly that.