Relationships are like tattoos, right? They're relatively permanent and require expensive laser surgery to remove them. Of course, that statement is nonsense — just nonsensical enough to probably become an ill-fonted tattoo of its own one day — but that hasn't stopped the developers of Shryne from cashing in on the ghosts of our former selves. Shryne bills itself as a "safety deposit box for your digital memories," promising encrypted data and hours upon hours of well-earned self-loathing.
The app — though technically free — boasts potential hidden charges including pride, confidence, any future relationships, and the ability to listen to Future's Dirty Sprite 2 without imbuing it with additional emotional weight. If those real-world costs don't deter you, simply download the app — then link each of your social media accounts, photos, general messaging, and anything else which might include traces of your former flame(s).
Thankfully, Twitter has wasted absolutely no time in eviscerating Shryne and its potential users:
Remember those awful drunk texts you sent telling your ex you "never supported their alt-rock band and were just there for free PBR"? Well, now those will probably live forever via that person's digital shrine. Sometimes, the future is undeniably petty.
