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Not going to lie…it’s hard not to feel cheated by last night’s Eaten Alive special on Discovery.
“Naturalist” Paul Rosolie was planning on letting an anaconda eat him on television last night, which actually sounds like pretty amazing television. He even went so far as to find a snake, provoke it into attacking him, and let it start to eat him.
Mind you, Rosolie was basically wearing an Iron Man suit while all this was going on, lest the snake actually do as nature intended and completely crush him before making Rosolie its lunch. Kind of defeats the purpose, doesn’t it? As soon as the snake got a nice grip on Rosolie and actually started to maybe do some damage, he naturally called in his team of assistants and had them extricate him from the massive snake.
So, to recap, Discovery made you watch for two hours as a guy poked at a snake until it attacked him, then eventually ran away. Eaten Alive is a huge misnomer; a more accurate name might be “Nibbled on But in No Real Danger of Being Eaten Alive,” or something like that.
If you’re going to make us sit there for two hours, Discovery, you have to at least let something eaten. The snakes are the stars here, not the people who provoke them.