It's quite amusing when people refuse to accept who and what they are. Denial is funny like that, and it's a way of life for him. This chain-smoking ball of negativity claims to hate hipsters, seemingly unaware that he's guilty of everything that infuriates him. You can't help but laugh at the blind hypocrisy of people who do exactly what they criticize others of doing, and the projection of his self-loathing is both hilarious and repugnant.

He hates this bar, even though he was there last month. He hates that shirt even though he was wearing it last year. He hates his neighborhood even though he just moved into it. He wears his pain all over his body in the form of tattoos, which also might hide the agonizing memories of his high school identity crisis that featured several pairs of Rocawear jeans. He's angry at the world, he's angry at himself and he knows it.

1. Perfectly coiffed hair
2. Cigarette dangling from mouth for dear life
3. Shirt buttoned all the way to the top
4. "I’m posing everytime I stop talking because I wish I was a model, but don’t want to look like I’m trying too hard (because I am)" posture 
5. Boots 

Related Douche: The Bitter Bartender Douche