Trying to single out only 10 comedians for a list is both difficult and highly subjective. It’s like trying to pick just 10 candidates from a mail-order bride catalog. There are so many amazing options that if it wasn’t for the state of Utah capping off polygamous households at 10 spouses, you’d probably spend your holiday bonus saving all of them.

As you go through this list, know that each and every comic has a quality I find near and dear to my jaded, almost entirely black comedic heart: they are unique, entertaining, and very, very funny. There are also roughly 6,000 other comedians in this country who too share all of those characteristics, so feel free to make 600 other Top 10 lists of your own to keep everything fair and balanced. Maybe start your own website called and post them there. Or don’t do any of that and just shut up and read.