How you'll get busted: After you sucker punch a guy for "wearing a T-shirt jersey," his friends pin you between the grill and a pickup truck until police arrive.
Penalty: Arrest, and possibly getting Tasered in the nipple

Nothing riles dudes up like the combination of cheap beer and football. After watching behemoths crash into each other for three straight hours, it's time to roundhouse kick someone in the face because that's civic pride. Beware if you decide to throw haymakers during the tailgate, though. There are charcoal grills all around you, corn hole games to trip you up, and plenty of like-minded bozos ready and willing to smash a bottle of Kirkland Vodka over your head. Unless you're trying to leave the game in the back of an ambulance or a police car, keep your hands in foam fingers, where they belong.