From Sundance to your local AMC theater, Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s directorial debut Don Jon, a dramedy about a Jersey guy just looking for love, opens today. Scarlett Johansson takes on Barbara Sugarman, the seductive Jersey girl who helps Jon (Gordon-Levitt) break his porn addiction.

For a film about a guy trying to get over his unrealistic expectations, it’s pretty ironic to cast one of the most fantasized about women in Hollywood as the love interest. Those lips, that face, those eyes, that gallbladder—everybody wants a piece of Scarlett Johansson. She kicks ass on the daily, drops sarcastic comments like nobody’s business, and makes impregnating workout balls sexy (you'll see). Basically, we just want to be you, Scarlett. No seriously, if you became a spiritual guru who started a cult, we would sink our entire life savings into the project. Teach us your ways, or at least show us how to do that seductive smirk. 

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