Never pass out in the midst of drunken carnage. Otherwise, you might end up with some undesirable facial art. 31-year-old James Denham Watson didn't take too kindly to waking up with several penises drawn on his face, so he decided to take action against his tormentors.
Assuming his roommate was responsible, Watson ran upstairs and began punching the man in the face as he slept. A third roommate had to break the fight up, and the man's eye was pummeled to the point of being swollen shut. The severely punched roommate waited some 90 minutes before calling the police, who charged Watson with malicious wounding.
Perhaps as punishment, Watson was booked with a penis scrawled across his cheek. Karma, right?