Director: Todd Lincoln
Stars: Ashley Greene, Sebastian Stan, Tom Felton, Julianna Guill, Luke Pasqualino, Suzanne Ford

Chances are, this is the first you're hearing about The Apparition, the incredibly bland PG-13 horror flick that opened this past weekend and barely cracked $2 million domestically. Consider yourselves lucky, because those of us who suffered through first-time writer-director Todd Lincoln's barely-80-minute slog of a supernatural exercise will never have those minutes back, and not even a few shots of gorgeous co-star Ashley Greene (Twilight) scantily clad in lingerie could make us feel any better about ourselves.

The Apparition is the worst kind of Z-grade horror movie, one that feels like it's been hacked and slashed by producers and editors in post-production, despite the fact that what is on screen is little more than a collection of cheap jump scares and visual cues ripped off from older, much better movies (i.e., Poltergeist and The Grudge). Lincoln's film rushes through its plot so quickly, giving the impression that entire scenes were cut out and no efforts were made to subsequently fix the pacing, and yet it's still a boring gruel from start to finish. It's movies like The Apparition that define Hollywood's August dog days.