If you're reading this with shaking hands and a sweaty forehead, you must be one those guys worried about pissing off your girlfriends on Valentine's Day. We're not here to say that your anxiety is unjustified. Probably, it's completely warranted. A well-intentioned-but-still-wrong move can leave you with a grouchy, unmanageable woman, which could leave you booty-free on the day of love.

What's a clueless man on Valentine's Day to do? Listen very closely: Drop that box of Russell Stover candy and make your way through Complex's no-fail guide to winning cupid's favor: A Gentleman's Guide to Not Screwing Up Valentine's Day.