6. Segway

Fresh air on your face...open road ahead of you...pedestrians pointing and laughing at how doofy you look—what better way is there to get moving on a Saturday afternoon than on one of these emasculating two-wheelers? (We can actually brainstorm quite a few.) Sure, people might hate on smart cars, but it's hard to think of a more ridiculous mode of travel than Segway. At least while driving, you're (barely) exercising a foot.