You know what the best thing was about the original 1776 movie? Nothing. Well, except for the fact that William "Mr. Feeny" Daniels was in it. This, however, is a rehashing of the story behind our nation's independence that we can get behind.

Polar bears! John Hancock doing flying Matrix maneuvers! Lizard-looking Redcoats! Epic '80s fight scene music! We'd love to imagine that the first noteworthy July 4th went down exactly like this. Beats your cousin's lame-ass barbecue, for sure.