Image via Complex Original
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Orlando Bloom has never been kind to us. When we put on The Lord of the Rings hoping for a three-hour make out fest with the hottest girl in school, it turned into Legolas drool fest for her. Years later, we lost more girls to his role in Pirates of the Caribbean. As for present day, he's married (with a kid!) to one of the sexiest Victoria's Secret models. Yup, you can just feel the injustice inflicted on us by the newly 35 year-old Brit, and it doesn't stop there. Just have a look at this list of his 10 hottest hook-ups.
Sophie Dahl
10. SOPHIE DAHL
When: 1998
The model-turned-writer is married to Jaime Cullum now, but once upon a time, there were rumors that she and Bloom were dating. While they were still both based in London, they appeared at few gallery openings together and their proximity got the rumors circulating.
Smash Probability: Their relationship seemed to only exist in the wild imagination of tabloid writers.
Kirsten Dunst
9. KIRSTEN DUNST
When: November 2006
A year after co-staring in Elizabethtown, Kirsten Dunst and Orlando Bloom were reportedly an item. Apparently, Kirsten reminded Bloom of what Kate looked like before her dramatic weight loss. There was never an official statement, unless you count getting caught cuddling in public.
Smash Probability: It's never surprising when people hook up after shooting movies together.
Jennifer Aniston
8. JENNIFER ANISTON
When: October 2007
After being friends for almost a decade, it’s only natural that Bloom and Aniston would be rumored to be more than friends. Speculation increased following the release of a photograph of the pair on vacation together. The two do share a manager, so that could explain it.
Smash Probability: It never got deeper than a failed attempt at a friends-with-benefits relationship.
Vanessa Minnillo
7. VANESSA MINNILLO
When: May 2005
When TRL was still a thing, Bloom appeared on the music video countdown show while Minnillo was still a host. Shortly after his appearance, they were allegedly spotted kissing and dirty dancing in a New York club. They also suspiciously left alone within a few minutes of each other.
Smash Probability: Their super secretiveness suggests that they hooked up at least once.
Kate Bosworth
6. KATE BOSWORTH
When: Late 2002-September 2006
Bosworth had a really tough break-up with her on-again, off-again ex-boyfriend, Bloom. She told Sunday Times Style that she was emotionally wrecked and thinks the split gave her vertigo.
Smash Probability: They were more together than the screws in her head.
Naomie Harris
5. NAOMIE HARRIS
When: July 2007
Orlando and Naomie allegedly told everyone that they liked each other, except for each other. The Pirates of the Caribbean co-stars developed mutual feelings while they took care of one another during filming. Orlando needed consolation after his break-up with Kate Bosworth, and Naomie arrived weakened by sickness on set.
Smash Probability: They were on the same ship, but never actually sailed away together.
Sienna Miller
4. SIENNA MILLER
When: 2001, July 2005
According to the rumor mill, Miller wanted to rekindle her and Bloom’s brief 2001 romance after her split from Jude Law in 2005. The two were seen around London together trying to reignite what they once had. Their previous romance happened before their respective rises to fame, when Miller was only 19.
Smash Probability: We know it happened the first time, and dudes always cheat on their girlfriends with their ex-girlfriends, so the second time seems plausible, too.
Helena Christensen
3. HELENA CHRISTENSEN
When: 2004
On the surface, you may not think we have a lot in common with Bloom, but we really do. We’re both excellent archers and like the same type of women: Victoria's Secret Angels like Helena Christensen. Some people say they briefly dated, but no sources can confirm that they ever shared more than the same picture together.
Smash Probability: Their relationship was probably just the result of a photo misinterpreted.
Penelope Cruz
2. PENELOPE CRUZ
When: January 2007
On Bloom’s 30th birthday, he spent the night with Penelope Cruz in L.A. Sources say that despite being surrounded by other women, Bloom spent most of the night dancing close to Cruz, and she was never more than an arm's length away from him. It was later revealed that Cruz might have been dating Josh Hartnett at the time and Bloom was spotted with a Penelope Cruz look-a-like in New York.
Smash Probability: Perhaps this romance was simply a case of mistaken identity.
Miranda Kerr
1. MIRANDA KERR
When: Married in July 2010
The adorable scale for Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom’s relationship is so off the charts that it’s really embarrassing for us. Kerr happily gushes about her man’s romantic tendencies (like framing all their love notes to one another), while Bloom gets to be married to one of the hottest models in the world. The happy couple already have a baby boy together.
Smash Probability: It’s safe to say that this marriage has been consummated.
