5. Pay This Man

This may or may not be the man who wants to give gifts to Britney's sister's baby, the man we fondly think of as the King. You know what, let's just say he's him. That dump truck we were going to fill with money and girlie mags? We're adding his favorite snack to the mix. Eat them till you OD, brother. We'll hold your orange-stained fingers while you expire in a pool of real junkie sweat. We'll ask our favorite ladies to tattoo your fucking signs on their chests so you'll know it's real.