ComplexCon returns to Long Beach Nov. 6 - 7 with hosts J. Balvin and Kristen Noel Crawley, performances by A$AP Rocky and Turnstile, and more shopping and drops.

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7. Hula Burger

Served At: McDonald's
Life Span: 1962-1963

In the early '60s, Ray Kroc, the man who made McDonald's into the titan we understand it to be, made a mistake. Well, first he made an important observation, then he made an error. The observation: Kroc noticed that sales consistently dipped on Fridays. Why? Catholicism. Catholics were abstaining from meat on Fridays, and thus choosing not to walk through the light the Golden Arches. Kroc was like, "I must stop this. The Catholics need McDonald's like they need the Eucharist." His solution: the Hula Burger, constructed just like a regular cheeseburger but with one fundamental difference: he swapped out the beef patty for a thick cut of pineapple. The sandwich did not prove to be popular enough, prompting Kroc to give the world the fish filet, which, many years later, gave us one of the more memorable lines on Watch the Throne.

Now that she can order fish filet, we'd like for the Hula Burger to come back, if only so we can try it. Can you imagine the weirdness? We dream about this shit.

Note: There are no images of this burger available on the internet. Sorry.