By Maurice Garland (@Maurice_Garland)

If the best things in life are worth waiting for, then YEAH! Burger must assume that their food is the best. While waiting for their new Burger of the Month, the Salmon Burger Saturday, I was able to watch damn near the entire first half of the Duke-Virgina Tech game, and see a girl at the bar give some unlucky dude the “we should just be friends” speech. I really coudn’t understand the wait, seeing as how they had enough people to play infield and outfield for the Braves working in the kitchen. The only thing longer than the wait line was the look on the customers faces.

So, of course, when I finally did get my Salmon Burger, I was expecting the most beatifullest thing in this world. But it was not like that. Outside of it being cooked on a flat top grill and coming on a bun, there wasn’t much about it that said “burger.” It was a filet, not a ground patty. It surely wasn’t the juiciest bite, either. They might as well have called it a plain ol’ salmon sandwich.

YEAH! Burger boasts that it's made of “Sustainable Lock Duart Scottish Salmon with Saffron Mayo and Pickled Spring Vidalia Onions.” But with all of those adjectives, you’d expect a burger that leaves you speechless, not one that is tasteless. I wound up doctoring up the “burger” with some Cholula hot sauce and mustard, which they may want to consider serving it with from the jump. That or at least throw a tomato on there.

I chose to go with a wheat bun over a white, which might have been a mistake. The menu said that it was “organic.” If that’s what organic tastes like, give me synthetic all day. The bun was also too thick for its own good since the filet is fairly thin. That could be the reason why the Salmon Burger (which I expected to be light) left a knot in my stomach afterwards.

YEAH! Burger: The Pickin' Burgers Index

Price: 3 ($9.99 + tax).
Convenience: 2 (The first location opened last summer, the second last month).
Taste: 5 (I think I said enough already. It's only on sale for the month of March, which might be a good thing).
Total: 10 (out of 20).

The Pickin' Burgers Index explained:
Taste is ranked on a 10-point scale, and is entirely subjective, entirely at each individual reviewer's discretion.
Price and Convenience are objective measurements on a 5-point scale. For Price, a "5" is given to burgers costing less than $2.50, a "4" to burgers costing $2.50 to $10, with a point drop for each subsequent $5 price increase (a "3" for $10-$15, a "2" for $15-$20, etc., to a "1" for $20+).
For Convenience, a "5" is awarded to burgers served at over 1000 locations, a "4" to burgers served at 100-1000 locations in more than 30 states, a "3" to burgers served at 10-100 locations in more than one state, a "2" to burgers served at more than one location in a city or region, and a "1" to burgers served at one location.