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When it comes to music, there’s everything that’s likable or even tolerable… and then there’s Pitbull. The “rapper” has made a career out of corny quote-filled lyrics, ridiculous outfits, questionable dance moves, and his unabashed love for popular products. Actually, when we put it that way, Pitbull doesn’t really sound like a musician at all. He kinda sounds like a dad.
Today is Pitbull’s birthday, and since we all can’t take him out to dinner at TGIFridays like we would our own dad, we compiled some of his most dad moments instead. Here are 10 times Pitbull was your dad.
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1. When he went to the bar with you and started dancing to a Pitbull song because he thought it was cool.
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“Better yet, go to Times Square, take a picture of me with a Kodak” – Pitbull in “Give Me Everything”
2. When he was your dad visiting NYC on business and he went to the Olive Garden in Times Square and then afterwards went outside and asked a passerby to take his picture so he could mobile upload it to his Facebook.
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3. When your mom bought him white pants and he came out of his room and said to you, “Hey Sarah, you’re not the only one who can pull off white after Labor Day… righttttt?!”
4. When he was hosting the AMAs and tried to make a joke about the one pop star he knows and it was just corny and not funny. Then to recover he started listing his nicknames like your dad would: “Hey I’m Billy’s Dad aka Mr. Smith aka The Big Kahoona… no just kidding, you don’t have to call me that, only Mrs. Smith does, right Billy?!”
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5. When you agreed to let him chaperone the dance and he tried to turn up with you and you were like, “Ugh, Dad I told you no leather gloves.”
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6. When he took this picture and it was like your family was on vacation in Alaska and mom made him take a picture with the locals for your family’s Christmas newsletter.
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“Big news, Pitbull, Tom Cruise, Mumbai” – Pitbull in “Get It Started”
7. When, after you tell him you’re going to see a new movie, he asks, “Oh, is that the one with Tom Cruise in it? Yea, I read about that.” And every time he is wrong, but he will still say it, because it’s the only actor he knows off the top of his head.
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8. When he was at your uncle’s surprise 40th birthday barbecue and just made a joke about something from their childhood like, “Ayyyy, you know what I’m talking about Frank! I know you remember that. Anyway, happy birthday buddy I brought some Bud Light Limes so let’s get the party started!”
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9. When he was jotting down some reminders in his office on a Sunday afternoon with his business pen wearing his “Sunday sweats.”
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10. When he went back to school to get his MBA from the local community college and your mom was like, “You’re wasting your time Ray.” Then he actually graduated and he was like, “Suck it Karen.” Also, your parents are getting a divorce.
And that one time Pitbull was your son who was going through an awkward phase, but you knew he’d be alright in the end.
