We Ranked Every Band We Could Find With "Pigeon" in Their Name

This is tagged #Pigeoncore but bro, this is definitely not Pigeoncore.

Too much drugs got Mercy Pigeon like:

Gunning for that Nickleback support act slot.

This guy in Portland, Oregon calls himself Part Pigeon, but it sounds like he hasn't quite figured out how to make a full song. Instead, he has these little jittery bursts of minute-and-a-half noise. If I had a lo-fi children's cartoon that needed music for in between scenes, I'd hire this guy. Like, listen to this and imagine a little cartoon bear digging a hole and trying to find some grubs or something. Cute! Perfect! Heh!

But for listening to in typical music-listening situations, not so much.

I have an old keyboard and on it there is this setting for drum kits and one of them is loaded with dated electronic sound effects. Sometimes I get drunk and mash the keys while on this setting and in my drunken stupor it sounds cool and I am convinced that I am the next big thing in EDM. But I am not. I am just drunk. Pretty sure Pigeon Inc. is in the same boat as me.

Serge Pigeon got some skills. We're not mad at his rumbling basslines, but just because you own all these instruments, you don't have to play them all at the same time on every song.

First off, you gotta respect the art on this. Look at that badger! Also, respect for the title. A domesticated badger? If you know anything about the badger, you know these fuckers are far from domesticated. Wild little things, those badgers. So, points for the song title and art, but other than that, this is pretty lame keyboard music that sounds like it was made using some auto chord progression tool.

These whiny, shouty guys became pretty damn famous in the UK.

This is actually produced and mastered well, but it's so bro'd out that it's unbearable. And then comes the line that confirms it's never going to work: "You could never keep me out, I'm like, 'Open Sesame.'" Ergh, I got your pigeon hole right here.

Bonus points for the name, minus points for being eardrum assaulting, almost unlistenable speedcore.

The world definitely needs more unity. And more Pigeons. We give you six coos out of ten.

This is not offensive. Sounds a little like Neko Case, if Neko Case never really applied herself.

This is ambient weirdness and it's hard to justify calling it "music," but the sounds are cool, and Pigeons Breeders get bonus points for their song titles.

Pigeon Do is a producer, and he's pretty dope. He's got a soulful, no-frills style, and every now and then you can hear a little trace of Dilla and Madlib. He's also got a project with a dude called Dead Crow. The project is called Dead Pigeon. Negative points for that.

Ol' Dirty Pigeon's beats are solid. They're laid-back, atmospheric, and nicely uncluttered, but please, whoever Zach is, don't ever let him rap on one of your beats again.

Your boy Patagonian Pigeon has undoubtedly got some talent, which is especially clear on "Warp." Unfortunately for Patagonian Pigeon, there are hundreds of thousands of producers with potential uploading tracks to Soundcloud right now. So scavenge on young pigeon, and maybe one day you can spread your wings and become a plane.

Fell asleep halfway through this, but I had a beautiful dream about pigeons living on a mountain, flying through the mist of a waterfall. Woke up in tears and immediately ranked this as a top 10 pigeon band.

Some of Pigeon Petal's uploads are spooky ambient sounds, but "Reverie" is a gorgeous, haunting piece of music. It's labeled as "drone folk," and the lo-fi recording gives it an old timey feeling, and her cover art adds a sense of creepiness. So, if creepy, old timey drone folk sounds like your thing, then you're gonna fuck with Pigeon Petal heavy. We're down.

The music of Pigeonfox, from Budapest in Hungary is undeniable well made, and their latest track "Tricky" could even be a hit, in the mold of Kiesza's "Runaway." Most of the rest of their material, however, is squarely focused on the dancefloor, and fits right in with the EDM sounds that you hear at more and more festivals and parties.

Pigeon John is an underground hip-hop veteran, and over the years he's dropped plenty of gems. Stylistically, he's all over the place, blending melodic, pop-friendly tunes with more experimental rap and quirky sing-alongs, but sometimes it all comes together perfectly.

Here's some old school Pigeon John from L.A. Symphony

Woodpigeon is a collective of musicians led by Mark Andrew Hamilton. The music is pretty straightforward but well-written, and compared to the previous pigeon bands, these guys sound like a step up. Like, maybe some of the people involved in this band are actually professionals. Look, they even have a Wikipedia page.

We've talked a lot about how much awesome music is coming out of Australia, and PIGEON's danceable, driving, synth-filled pop sound doesn't let their nation's high standards down. Time to get up and dance with some feathered friends.

The critics all agree: Terror Pigeon! is the best pigeon band in the world. Their Soundcloud bio reads, "WE ARE THE WORLD'S SWEATIEST BAND" and they have an album on the way called Live It Up Before You Die It Up! So basically, they're killing it and you can expect to see them on all the covers of all the magazines soon. Well done, Terror Pigeon! We are so, so proud of you. Shout out to all the other pigeon bands we missed. You have bad SEO.