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2. First
3. Testing
4. Compliment
5. Strong Out of the Gate
Date: January 2013
The BasedGod has only spoken about feet three times in four years. Very #RARE, indeed. They have also all been innocuous in nature. He takes it to the next level by, out of nowhere, opening up a casting call to all girls who want to suck his toes. It's important to note that this is the first time Lil B has made mention of his own feet, marking a milestone in us learning that his appreciation goes both ways. We conservatively estimate that there were a minimum of 50 girls who DMed him looking to slob on his soles.
6. #GirlTime Themes
Date: April 2013
It's becoming increasingly apparent that feet aren't just a thing Lil B likes, but an obsession. Face and Feet become a staple theme of #GirlTime, with four separate instances in a one-month span. They even predate the creation of the official #GirlTime twitter account.
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11. First Overt Sexual Reference
Date: December 2013
Over the last five years Lil B has been quasi-cryptic about his infatuation, spacing out his comments enough to make us forget that foot infatuation is a motif. However, these very #RARE occurences are about to become increasingly less very #RARE. What better way to officially let the world know you get horned up thinking about feet than to, after five months of silence, ask all the ladies out there to rub your dick with their feet? Notable in this tweet, the ":+/" emoji tells us that Lil B is hesitant or ashamed. His foot obsession is a compulsion; he can't help himself. He's attempted to mollify these feelings, but they have finally transitioned from a simmer to a boil.
Every person replying to this tweet think it's hilarious; they think Lil B is just being random and goofy. This approach is like when you were around a girl you like and "joke" about how you would cunniling her for seven hours straight. Everyone LOLs afterwards so the rejection isn't painful because you were only half-serious. But, also maybe she was down to get cunnilinged? In the immortal words of the urban prophet Nelly, "I'm just kidding like Jason...Unless you gon' do it."
Lil B also posts the earliest foot picture on his Tumblr in October.
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14. A Barrage of Feet Tweets
Date: March 2014
He called his dick a "pee pee;" Lil B referred to his penis as a "pee pee." Of all the euphemisms for penis, The BasedGod chose "pee pee." What a fucking legend.
In just one month, Lil B tweets five times about his foot fetish (four of which were in the span of one hour). He goes from masquerading his #secret addiction to putting it front-and-center. Outside of the "pee pee" tweet, the rest are not sexually explicit. They clarify Lil B's connection to feet. He doesn't necessarily want to fuck them, he finds their very existence erotic. Some crucial facts are illuminated:
- The girls that the feet are attached to must either be cute or happy.
- Feet must be clean.
- Feet by themselves are disgusting.
- Comfortable consent is sexy.
Lil Boss gives us insight into the complex layers of his fetish. It's not straight-forward feet that turn him on, but specific instances. The fact he wants faces associated with the feet pics he gets sent is important. He doesn't want to reduce a woman down to a body part. He still views them as a person. He wants to know them, not just their feet. Lil B wants a woman to actively enjoy him debasing their arches. There is an escalated tittilation when you are doing something absolutely sexually disgusting to another human and they enjoy it. For Lil B, this is critical.
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23. More Feet!
Date: June 2014
Lil B scraps the overtly sexual approach for the encouraging, sweet route. He encourages all the girls out there to adopt exposed footwear so that he may gawk at them. Though he was silent on Twitter between March and June, he stayed posting a grip of anime feet pics to Dior Paint.
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26. Feet Writing
Date: August 2014
Lil B continues to post feet pics to his IG/Tumblr. Whereas most men attempting to display their lothario status will get girls to scribble their names on sexual body parts (butt, boobs, etc.), Lil B begins to receive and post pictures of girls writing various #BASED phrases on their feet.
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29. Tumblr Posts and The Anime Phase
Date: September 2014
Brandon officially shifted his plan into overdrive this month. Instead of tweeting, his Instagram and Tumblr are inundated with feet. Whether real or anime, Lil B posts hundreds of feet pics over the course of a few weeks. What he is attempting to do is normalize the eroticism of feet.
Remember when you couldn't accidentally see a dude taking a selfie with his dead girlfriend? Or easily see a beheading? Remember when that wasn't par for the course of existing? Being constantly bombarded with barbaric imagery desensitized us to violence; it appears Lil B is attempting to do the same with foot fetishes, and by extension all taboo fetishes. By inundating us with these images, he is removing the shock factor and breaking down our inhibitions, liberating us sexually. Once he does, just imagine how wonderful our lives will be.
There is nothing Lil B cannot do. Today, it's foot fetishes. Tomorrow, it's female on male rimming (or if we infer from his Tumblr, pregnant women). What an exciting time to be alive.
Was this a long con? Did Lil B become a rapper years ago to more easily find women who would let him fuck their feet? Maybe. Is he trying to liberate us from our stuffy views on sex? Most likely. Does he just like feet? Yes. No matter what his motivation, we appreciate what he is doing. I can't wait to tell my grandchildren tales of Brandon McCartney. He is truly a modern day freedom fighter. Go forth, and fuck a foot, or date a mannequin, or wear a diaper. Whatever quirk gets you in a full-on sex rage, embrace it proudly.
It is what Lil B would want.
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