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Image via Kadeem Spencer on Facebook
As of today, I’m quitting rap. Yes, I am quitting rap. The reason is that I don’t get enough blog coverage, and that’s the truth. A year ago, I thought that since I’ve supported a blog for five whole years, they would say, “Come right on in, Corduroy.” I thought they would post my shit whenever I wanted. I came to the realization that dreams are for dreamers, not people like myself.
I’m just a guy who is trying to build myself from the ground up and make it in this industry. I am just a 21-year-old black guy from New York City with aspirations. My parents taught me at a young age that you can’t get nothing in this world if you don’t work for it. Kanye West was my inspiration to start rapping. But unlike some rappers, I have a plan B. I want to eventually become an entrepreneur and move up in the corporate world by starting and running my own company. Sitting here waiting for a blog post isn’t going to help me meet my goals.
At the end of last year, I made a song that gained the attention of some pretty big blogs and some of my favorites. Once that happened, I thought the online support would continue. Yes, I’m fully aware that nobody has to post your fucking music, but it’s depressing when you’ve recorded a bunch of songs and only one got on a blog that you wanted to see your other seven on. That sucks.
I am tired of writing raps on my iPhone 5 in my mother’s living room, and I can’t even afford to get in the studio in order to make a quality project.
I am tired of writing raps on my iPhone 5 in my mother’s living room, and I can’t even afford to get in the studio in order to make a quality project. You’re probably going to say, “If you can’t afford it why don’t you get your own equipment and do it at home?” I used to record and mix on GarageBand on my MacBook air while I was in high school and that got me nowhere. I have Yeezus and Blueprint 3 and Watch The Throne on my phone, and hearing those just makes me strive for more. I want professional levels. I want quality over quantity.
Therefore if I can’t get into the studio with a quality engineer on a project, I would rather not record. I would just rather give up on my dream.
After “The Foxes” got all that press and the little bit of notoriety, I thought that my music was good enough to reach even more people with each release. Instead, I was repeatedly told, “Sorry your music does not fit our site.” I went into a depression. I couldn’t sleep for days at a time because of frustration and having the doors closed on me when I felt I had a foot in. I know that most people have shared this same pain with me. Artists in my age group are having the same problem: They live in areas where they can’t even get to a good quality studio because they can not afford it. They stay home and use their computers to record and get their raps out, and eventually have people check it out on SoundCloud.
It’s just mind-boggling how other rappers with no type of real effort in their songs are basically put on a pedestal because of connections.
Getting support from the right people and connections is a major deal to me and others like me. It’s just mind-boggling how other rappers with no type of real effort in their songs are basically put on a pedestal because of connections. I thought to myself one time that maybe I have to sell out for people to notice me. But I’d rather not sell out myself and my race to gain an advantage in my “come up.” Hip-hop has changed so much over the years. Now in the internet era, anyone can make garbage and get put on because the only people that are getting picked are those who aren’t making quality as far as lyrics. Just look at Soulja Boy. (No disrespect to him, but wouldn’t life be easier if I just made music with that little effort?)
I just dropped a song entitled “Hotel Mirages” that I spent over a year on (whether it sounds like it or not). This song originally had six other artists on it. It was an alternative song with a cloud rap sound. After a lot of thought, I decided to keep only myself and OG Chess on the track. He didn’t even support it. What is more depressing than paying for a verse and then seeing that artist ignore the release? Yes, I didn’t pay a lot of money for that verse, but it’s money I didn’t have—money that could have gone to something else. That is why I have reached out to pigeonsandplanes.com. It seems like people don’t support me unless I am on a blog site.
So as for me quitting rap goes, I truly have decided to quit. Maybe the only way I will continue is if I get support. I have no more motivation to create/release anymore music because I feel that I am not getting back what I put out there. I feel that my songs aren’t getting the attention that I have hoped for, and this has basically discouraged me and turned me off to making music. I decided to just focus on my school career and try to become something in this world other than a rapper. I think this goes without saying that people in my shoes know how it feels to have the doors shut on you over and over again. The only advice I can give to them is try and make it no matter what, and also get a good PR team or just do local shit. As for me, I am hanging up this rap jersey.
If there are any blogs or anyone one who has studios willing to help me out in NYC please hit me on Twitter (@ogcorduroy) and email (kadeemspence23@gmail.com).
On the second revision of his essay, Kadeem included the parts about getting potential support so I asked him, “So are you actually quitting rap? At the end there, it doesn’t sound like you’re actually quitting.”
“The only way I’m not quitting is if I get the blog support,” he answered. “I’ve been depressed over it tbh because ppl tell me all the time don’t worry about the blogs. I’m sorry but I need y’all the same as Kanye needs Nike and Adidas.”
UPDATE: A response to this article can be found here: “I’m Quitting My Job”
