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Words by Confusion & Midas
Music by Midas
According to studies, the most undesirable piece of music to most Americans:
“Is over 25 minutes long, veers wildly between loud and quiet sections, between fast and slow tempos, and features timbres of extremely high and low pitch, with each dichotomy presented in abrupt transition. The most unwanted orchestra was determined to be large, and features the accordion and bagpipe (which tie at 13% as the most unwanted instrument), banjo, flute, tuba, harp, organ, synthesizer (the only instrument that appears in both the most wanted and most unwanted ensembles). An operatic soprano raps and sings atonal music, advertising jingles, political slogans, and “elevator” music, and a children’s choir sings jingles and holiday songs. The most unwanted subjects for lyrics are cowboys and holidays.”
The song below, declared by science as the most annoying song, has all of those things and more. The musicologist that put this piece together estimates that less than 200 people on the planet would legitimately enjoy this song.
Vitaly Komar, Alex Melamid and David Soldier – “The Most Unwanted Song Ever”
But wait, that can’t be the MOST annoying song in the world. We’re not going to put it on our next mix, but the shit had its moments. The problem with this “study” and with “science” in general is that it is too often rooted in false assumptions, unproven theories, and jumbles of technical jargon. First of all, bagpipes are fucking awesome. Secondly, “veering wildly between loud and quiet” was basically The Pixies’ and Nirvana’s method to success. And it doesn’t take a “musicologist” (who probably only listens to classical and Bruce Springsteen) to know what people find annoying.
We at Pigeons and Planes are against science. Our motto has always been “fuck science.” We are proponents of simple things and common sense. When we don’t know something, we shrug and say, “Nobody knows.” But making the most annoying song is not difficult, it is simple. To make the most annoying song in the world, you take the four most annoying things in the world, and you combine them. Obviously, the most annoying things in the world are:
– Celine Dion – “My Heart Will Go On”
– Miley Cyrus – “Party In The USA”
– Justin Bieber – “Baby”
– Ke$ha – “Tik Tok”
The idea of combining these songs started as a joke. Somewhere along the line we decided to actually make it happen. The result is what we believe to be the MOST ANNOYING SONG IN THE WORLD. When we pressed “play,” we had a Dr. Frankenstein moment. We laughed like rabid hyenas, immediately realizing that we have created something that should never have been released into the universe–the creation of something so absurdly horrifying that innocent children will turn sour, dreams will wither, and lives will be ruined. It’s a feeling few know.
Without further adieu, here is the most annoying song in the world…
Midas – “The Most Annoying Song In The World”
Wow. The voices of Celine, Miley, Bieber, and Ke$ha in one song are the audio equivalent of gargling someone else’s warm vomit. Sickening, terrible, intolerable. Did you even make it to the end of the song? No, you didn’t. It’s official, this is not only the most annoying song, but the most annoying thing ever created.
Midas & Confusion