I don’t excuse Joseline Hernandez and Stevie J going on the attack at the end of part one of the Love & Hip Hop Atlanta reunion. You know, violence is never the answer, blah, blah, hug don’t thug, etc. However, their cast mates have their damn nerves trying to give teases of Iyanla Vanzant as if we haven’t been presented with their fuck shit for 15-plus episodes (in addition to their antics in previous seasons.)
Hearing Momma Dee—an ex-pimp who was ready to have a mama vs. mama battle last season—try to condemn violent acts is awfully hysterical. Your reputation precedes you, Momma Dee, and as much as I like you and wish you well on dreams of booking club venues to cover Anita Baker tracks, you’re acting pretty high and mighty considering you’re the proud owner of a domestic violence dabbling son.
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Likewise, Joseline’s ex-manager turned Mimi Faust freeloader Dawn has some gall bad mouthing Joseline when she’s not around. Oh, you’re worried about Joseline being a drug addict, Dawn? You’re concerned about her insecurity to boot? That’s interesting considering your biggest grip with Joseline all season long is that she stopped paying you commission—leading you to go freeload off of Mimi Faust. You’re the same person who actively tried to convince Mimi that becoming a porn star and getting blog hits canceled out whatever other consequences would come from selling ass on camera. Dawn, the next time you attempt to cry on camera, don’t forget the tears. Crying without tears is like only putting the tip in: People feel you, but not really.
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As for Mimi, at this point we should all agree that this woman is in an abusive relationship with the truth. I howled when mere seconds after telling host Sommore that she said nothing about Joseline backstage, we were greeted with footage of Mimi in fact trashing Joseline—resulting in Joseline going upside her head, too. I’m so sick of this shower rod-riding porn star acting above it all. This is the same woman who has repeatedly jumped into someone’s face in an act of provocation. Don’t believe me. Just ask K. Michelle. Hell, isn’t that why you got smacked with flowers this time last year, home girl?
But hey, let Mimi tell it, Joseline is the coward.
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Meanwhile, Rasheeda must’ve loved Joseline and Stevie being escorted out of the building because there was no other way she’d be given this much more airtime. Rasheeda, you’re nice and all, but I’d rather not hear lessons on what makes a “secure woman” from Mrs. Kirk Frost. God bless, though.
And Erica, do not behave like a YouTube prophet. Joseline’s attire was not an indicator that she was ready to fight. She didn’t want to dress in formal wear like the rest of y’all because she’s a former stripper who currently body builds. Much of her life has been spent being rewarded for nakedness. Of course her ass doesn’t like wearing a lot of clothes.
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Thankfully, Karlie Redd highlighted that Benzino is just as “territorial” as Joseline is described as being. While the cast is piling on Joseline (never mind that Stevie and Benzino really jumped off this entire brawl), they all neglected to note that during the brouhaha, Benzino is shouting at Joseline, “I bust you in your mouth. Yeah, bitch. I did that. I did that. I did that.”
Why are you so proud of swinging on a woman, Benzino?
And Ariane, I love you, but Joseline’s greeting for you is magic: “What’s up, fake ass ho?”
Same goes for her telling Ariane, “Give me my nigga hand back.”
Since when we’re talking Ariane, she told Nikko—who was MIA when Mimi and Joseline got into it—“I just feel like he could’ve fought to get to her.”
This is from the woman who was on the scene at the time and didn’t lift a finger to assist Mimi. Again, still love you, Ariane, but c’mon nah.
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The only person I didn’t mind criticizing Joseline was Deb Antney and that’s not because I fear her. When Kirk Frost of all people tried to accuse Joseline of bringing Stevie J’s value down, Deb was quick to point out: “He got a lot of brownie points when he got with her.” Yes, let’s please not pretend Stevie J met Joseline in 1997 when the Butterfly album dropped. There isn’t a drug in the world that could get anyone high enough to believe such bullshit. When Mimi took the baton from Kirk and tried to carry on that lame excuse, Deb shut that down, too, explaining, “This ain’t no Joseline’s fault. This is who he is.”
Whew, Mimi. You really need to get over the fact that Stevie passed you up for Joseline. Don’t blame her, blame him.
As for this talk of Joseline’s substance abuse —i.e. cocaine—I don’t know her nostrils well enough to know the truth. What I will say, though, is that Joseline just seemed pissed the hell off. As Deb pointed out, this is a woman with a very troubled background. With that comes a lot of residual anger—which reality TV isn’t exactly conducive to her dealing with in a productive way. Joseline has always gone 0 to 100. Even in her post- brawl interview, Joseline was asked if she came there ready to fight and her response was, “I come everywhere ready to fight.”
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Her conflict resolution skills are basically the Crime Mob catalog. I’ve seen video of Joseline that looked like a nouveau D.A.R.E ad, but sobriety wouldn’t have likely altered what happened. Joseline may be broken, but most of her cast mates have no real interest in seeing her get better. They liked the distraction she provided given it helped us look away from their shit.
And just so we’re clear, a Joseline and Stevie-less Love & Hip Hop Atlanta reunion is like asking Farrah, LaTavia, and Michelle to lead a Destiny’s Child reunion tour.
Michael Arceneaux is from the land of Beyoncé, but now lives in the city of Master Splinters. Follow him at @youngsinick.
