On the premiere episode of Prince Harry and Oprah Winfrey’s Apple TV+ docuseries, The Me You Can’t See, Lady Gaga opened up about the lasting pain and trauma of being sexually assaulted as a teenager.
“I was 19 years old, and I was working in the business, and a producer said to me, ‘Take your clothes off,’” the 35-year-old singer said. “And I said no. And I left, and they told me they were going to burn all of my music. And they didn’t stop. They didn’t stop asking me, and I just froze and – I don’t even remember. The person who raped me dropped me off pregnant on a corner.”
Gaga said she will not name her alleged attacker.
“I understand this #Metoo movement, I understand that some others feel really comfortable with this, and I do not, I do not ever want to face that person again,” she said. “This system is so abusive and so dangerous.”
Gaga went on to reveal that she was diagnosed with PSTD years later, after going to the hospital for chronic pain.
“First, I felt full-on pain, then I went numb. Then I was sick for weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks after,” she explained. “And I realized it was the same pain I felt when the person who raped me dropped me off pregnant on the corner, at my parents’ house, because I was vomiting, and sick. Because I’d been being abused, I was locked away in a studio for months.”
Gaga also revealed that in 2019, at the same time she won an Oscar for her performance in “A Star Is Born,” she was actually going through a “total psychotic break.”
“I had a total psychotic break, and for a couple years, I was not the same girl,” she said. You can come back from things like that, but when it hits you really hard, it can change you. I went through a really crazy time in my head that I still work on and I’m trying to make sure that I give back with that experience instead of just, I don’t know, locking it away and faking it. It’s a really very real thing to feel like there’s a black cloud that is following you wherever you go telling you that you are worthless and should die.”
After years of struggling with her mental health, Gaga maintained that she is on the road to recovery.
“Even if I have six brilliant months, all it takes is getting triggered once to feel bad,” she said. “And when I say feel bad, I mean want to cut, think about dying, wondering if I’m ever gonna do it.”
If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health, and/or if this recent news cycle has become triggering, help is available.
